IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps depict significant changes which have taken place in Grange
Use synonyms
park
Capitalize word
Park
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the
Change preposition
between the
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 year 1920 and today.
Overall
Linking Words
,the
park
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 has been significantly redesigned to accommodate modern facilities
while
Linking Words
remaining
Correct your spelling
retaining
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 some original features. The original design focused on decorative gardens and relaxation,
while
Linking Words
 the current one highlights practical use and varied activities. In 1920, the
park
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 was symmetrical, with rose gardens, seating areas, and two entrances bordering Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street. A central fountain and a stage for musicians served as
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 points, complemented by a glasshouse and a pond for water plants. These elements reflected the era’s preference for ornamental green spaces.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the current design
contain
Change the verb form
contains
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 contemporary amenities. Meantime, the rose gardens and seating remain, but the musicians’ stage has been replaced by an amphitheatre for concerts. New additions include a cafe,
a
Correct word choice
and a
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children’s play area. Notably, the Eldon Street entrance now provides access to an underground car
park
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the description by clearly separating the past and present features. Use specific linking words to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Add a concluding sentence summarizing the overall changes and their implications for the park's purpose.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear overview of the transformations in Grange Park, demonstrating a good understanding of the main features in both maps.
task achievement
The use of specific details, such as the fountain, stage, and modern café, effectively illustrates the differences between the park in 1920 and today.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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