IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The only way to improve the safety on our road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is no doubt that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safety
while
Linking Words
 driving is
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 part
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
. the only way to improve
that is
Linking Words
 to have a strict punishment for driving
rule
Use synonyms
violator
Fix the agreement mistake
violators
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay fully
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it can be harmful to other
road
Use synonyms
 users and it could be
worsen
Replace the word
worse
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as the increasing of
lawbreaker
Fix the agreement mistake
lawbreakers
show examples
 on the
road
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of
road
Use synonyms
rules
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
limit
Wrong verb form
limiting
show examples
 speed for
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in
dansely
Correct your spelling
densely
 populated
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. If there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no
rules
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 area especially in
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 area, the pupils can
hit
Add a missing verb
be hit
show examples
 by the car when
cross
Change the verb form
crossing
show examples
 the
road
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the pupils could
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their life or pass away, and the worst thing is
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
disability
Add an article
a disability
show examples
. Because of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues, the government should
restirct
Correct your spelling
restrict
 the
rules
Use synonyms
 about
this
Linking Words
, because if not, the number of people who do
this
Linking Words
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increase day by day and it can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 other people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, The action of
rule
Use synonyms
violator
Fix the agreement mistake
violators
show examples
 can
be discourage
Change the verb form
be discouraged
show examples
 by hard punishment from law authority. it can give
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 preventive effect to
rule
Use synonyms
breaker
Fix the agreement mistake
breakers
show examples
. because of
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the number of people who stand with the
rule
Use synonyms
 will increase periodly.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 point is that it can
really
Add a missing verb
be really
show examples
 helpful
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 decreasing the number of
law
Add an article
the law
show examples
breaker
Fix the agreement mistake
breakers
show examples
. In conclusion,
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricting
show examples
 the
rules
Use synonyms
 of driving is the only way to overcome
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
road
Use synonyms
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
.
this
Linking Words
 essay completely
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement because driving with the wrong
rules
Use synonyms
 can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
affet
Correct your spelling
affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society and life person.

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language use
Make sure to use proper grammar and spellings. For example, instead of 'the only way to improve that is to have a strict punishment for driving rule violator', you can say 'the only way to improve safety is to impose strict punishments on driving rule violators.'
structure
Focus on organizing your ideas more effectively. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea and include clear examples to support it.
content
Expand on your ideas; adding more specific examples and details would strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
content
You demonstrate an understanding of the importance of road safety and implications of traffic violations. This shows engagement with the topic.
content
Your argument clearly advocates for stricter punishments, showing your ability to take a stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • infractions
  • harsher penalties
  • over-policing
  • driver education
  • automated traffic enforcement
  • holistic approach
  • disproportionately
  • legal representation
  • substance abuse
  • awareness campaigns
  • road infrastructure
  • legal measures
  • traffic regulations
What to do next:
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