IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people find advertisements amusing or annoying and they are not influenced by this when they shop. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some
individuals
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 consider that
advertisements
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 are very annoying, and these
people
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 are not manipulated by advertising. I disagree with
this
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 idea
,
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 and do not think that they are annoying.
This
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 essay will discuss both the annoying and positive sides of advertising. On the one hand, advertising is a key part of modern business.
Thus
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, companies use the positive influence of advertising, to tell consumers about their products and services. That's to say,
advertisements
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 inform us about the choices we have. In a world where there are many products, it can improve consumer culture, and create more enthusiasm between shopaholic
individuals
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.
For instance
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, The American Psychological Association reports that
,
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 especially
advertisements
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 with emotional context create much interest in buyers.
This
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 shows that advertisement motivates
people
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 by appealing to their emotions.
On the other hand
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, some
individuals
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 claim that
advertisements
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is
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are
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 not a form of modern art. To face pointless
advertisements
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 is very annoying, and it can create unnecessary demand
between
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among
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 most
individuals
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 which is more manipulative.
Moreover
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, excessive posting of
advertisements
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also
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 can spoil the beautiful appearance of streets, buildings, transport stops etc.
In addition
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 to paper
advertisements
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, online
advertisements
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 are very tiring for
people
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 who use social networks.
For instance
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, uninteresting
advertisements
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 (taxi, lottery, food
advertisements
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) that appear
while
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 watching a movie or messaging
with
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apply
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someone annoy
people
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, resulting in the blocking of those pages. In conclusion, depending on their purpose,
advertisements
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 can be both useful and annoying for humans. It is very important that
people
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 are properly guided in
this
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 process.

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task achievement
Try to develop your arguments more thoroughly to provide clearer support for your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas within paragraphs and their transitions to improve the overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay effectively presents the topic and offers a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have included specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the mention of the American Psychological Association's report.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer behavior
  • Desensitization
  • Persuasive
  • Brand perception
  • Shopping habits
  • Marketing tactics
  • Selective attention
  • Online advertising
  • Traditional media
  • Cultural background
  • Ethical considerations
  • Ad saturation
  • Advertising literacy
  • Brand loyalty
  • Consumer skepticism
  • Target audience
  • Emotional appeal
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Impulse buying
  • Ad avoidance
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