Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that
professionals
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,
such
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as doctors and engineers should
work
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which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
country
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they got their training,
while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others believe they should be free to choose which
country
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they want to
work
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.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Both views have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
valid reasons and
this
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essay
discuss
Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
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about
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apply
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each of them before expressing my own opinion. In
favor
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favour
show examples
of
first
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the first
show examples
argument, some individuals believe that
professionals
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should
work
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in their own
country
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since they have studied and trained there.
Therefore
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, they should stay to help develop their hometown and care for local citizens rather than working
elsewhere
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. If graduates leave to
work
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abroad, the
country
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not only loses its investment but
also
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faces a shortage of skilled workers.
For instance
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,
while
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India has
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
biggest population International Statistics Committee shows
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
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of rural areas in India
faces
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face
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significant doctor shortages.
On the other hand
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, many may believe people should have to right choose their career opportunities in other countries.
Professionals
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may move abroad for better salaries, working conditions or access to advanced technology. Forcing them to stay could be seen as a violation of personal freedom and
this
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time they can not
work
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full capacity in their
country
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.
For example
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, engineers in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Azerbaijan often
wants
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want
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to migrate
countries
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to countries
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with rising technology sectors,
such
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as Germany or The USA, where they can enjoy not only higher salaries but
also
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a more balanced
work
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-life dynamic.
To conclude
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,
while
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it's important to retain trained
professionals
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, I believe they should not be forced to stay in the
country
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where they trained. Imposing legal restrictions would limit personal freedom and may discourage students from pursuing important fields.
Instead
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, governments should create a supportive environment with good benefits and career development opportunities.
This
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way,
professionals
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will be encouraged to stay and contribute to the
country
Use synonyms
's growth, without the need for restrictions.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is clear and outlines the main points well. However, consider refining the thesis statement for even greater clarity and impact.
task achievement
Ensure proper use of articles and prepositions in your essays (e.g., 'the right to choose' instead of 'the right choose'), and check for grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
task achievement
In your examples, aim for greater specificity or depth to better illustrate your points. For instance, provide more details about the conditions in rural India or specific reasons why professionals choose to migrate.
task achievement
Your essay successfully presents both sides of the argument and articulates a clear opinion, demonstrating a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples from India and Azerbaijan strengthens your argument and provides context to the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • cultural awareness
  • tolerant society
  • STEM subjects
  • employability
  • rigorous subjects
  • curriculum
  • school budgets
  • enriches
  • complements
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