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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 different types of
jam
Use synonyms
 were sold between 2009 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an increase in almost
kinds
Correct determiner usage
all kinds
show examples
 of
jam
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the sales of plum
jam
Use synonyms
 witnessed a downward trend.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
cherry-flavored
Change the spelling
cherry-flavoured
show examples
jam
Use synonyms
 became the most popular over the period shown.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the amount of strawberry
jam
Use synonyms
 which was sold started at over 3
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009, after which it experienced a growth to nearly 5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2011, before ending the period at 7
million
Use synonyms
 in 2014. The figure for raspberry
jam
Use synonyms
 in 2009 was approximately 2.8
million
Use synonyms
, followed by a significant rise to 5.1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2012, and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
final
Change the word
finally
show examples
 remained stable at around 5.7
million
Use synonyms
 2 years later. Similar changes can be seen in the figure for grape-flavor
jam
Use synonyms
, which witnessed a sharp increase from 0.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009 to over 4.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2014. Meanwhile, cherry
jam
Use synonyms
 sales saw a fluctuation between around 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009 and nearly 2.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010, but it later declined to 3
million
Use synonyms
 in 2012, a final
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
 slightly to 2.9.
Besides
Linking Words
, roughly 2.5
million
Use synonyms
 was the sales of plum
jam
Use synonyms
 in 2009, after it decreased dramatically to 0
million
Use synonyms
 in the final year, making it
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the least popular
jam
Use synonyms
 during the period.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words jam, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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