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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows the number of mobile phone and personal computers per 1000 people in 2003 in 6 different countries

The table below shows the number of mobile phone and personal computers per 1000 people in 2003 in 6 different countries
The given table illustrates the proportion of cell phones and
terminal
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terminals
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 per 1000 people in the year 2003
of
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in
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 6 different countries which are Luxemburg,
italy
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Italy
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, Singapore, Germany, South Korea, China It is clear from the table,
Luxemburg
Correct word choice
that Luxemburg
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 was the
country
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 with the highest number of phone and personal computers
users
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,
while
Linking Words
china’ s
Change noun form
china’s
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 number of
users
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 was as few as 10-20 times.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 Italy and Germany had more mobile
users
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 than computers On the one hand, Luxemburg was the
country
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 with the highest percentage of phone and personal computer
users
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in
Change preposition
of
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 the 6 countries and the number of people using these two devices was relatively similar, which was 872 and 900 respectively. Singapore was similar to Luxembourg, the figure for mobile holders and PC owners was the same, which was 684 and 690 respectively. Italy and Germany had more mobile holders than PC owners; those were 737,480 and 586,452. Korea was a
country
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 with fewer
users
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 than other countries but China was the
country
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 with fewer
users
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 than Korea.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words country, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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