IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

"Advantages and Disadvantages of Children Using the Internet"

Over the
last
Linking Words
 two or three decades, the way people use the
internet
Use synonyms
 has changed significantly. Nowadays,
internet
Use synonyms
 usage among
children
Use synonyms
 is increasing rapidly. A growing number of
children
Use synonyms
 are spending much more
time
Use synonyms
 online. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore both the advantages and disadvantages of
children
Use synonyms
 using the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. One of the main benefits is that the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 can help
children
Use synonyms
 improve their cognitive and academic skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can enhance their math abilities by watching educational videos. There are
also
Linking Words
 various platforms that provide access to valuable learning resources. Another advantage is that
children
Use synonyms
 can stay informed about the world around them. Social media and other online platforms allow them to access up-to-date information, which can increase their awareness and knowledge.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 some serious drawbacks. One major concern is that many
children
Use synonyms
 struggle to manage their
time
Use synonyms
 effectively. If they spend too much
time
Use synonyms
 online, it may negatively affect their daily routines and responsibilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, excessive
internet
Use synonyms
 use can lead to a loss of concentration and social isolation.
For example
Linking Words
, constantly watching entertaining videos on social media might damage their mental health and reduce their focus on important tasks. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there are clear advantages to using the
internet
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as learning and access to information, the disadvantages—like poor
time
Use synonyms
 management and mental health risks—should not be ignored. Personally, I believe
children
Use synonyms
 should use the
internet
Use synonyms
, but in moderation.
Additionally
Linking Words
, parents should take an active role in managing their
children
Use synonyms
's screen
time
Use synonyms
. They need to monitor and guide their
children
Use synonyms
 to ensure that their online activities are balanced and appropriate. I believe
this
Linking Words
 will benefit both parents and
children
Use synonyms
 in the long term.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on your examples with more specific details or statistics to further illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied linking phrases to enhance the flow between your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion restates the main points more clearly to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets the stage for your essay by outlining the topic and your intention to explore both sides.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with clear differentiation between advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: