IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Social Media Influencers and Their Impact on Consumer Behavior

Social
media
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influencers
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 have a significant impact on consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Some
people
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 believe
this
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influence
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 is positive,
while
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 others think it is harmful. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and present my own opinion with examples. At the present time, some
people
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 believe that social
media
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influencers
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 on platforms like Instagram and Facebook affect consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 positively. They argue that
influencers
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 can encourage
people
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 to follow healthy lifestyles, use useful products, or raise awareness about important social issues.
For instance
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, fitness
influencers
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 often motivate their followers to exercise and eat healthily.
However
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, others believe that
this
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influence
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 can be harmful. One major concern is that young users often get exposed to inappropriate content.
For example
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, my cousin was watching films for adults on social
media
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. I took the phone away from him because it was a bad
influence
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.
This
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 shows how dangerous unregulated access to content can be for children.
Secondly
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, another problem is that children and teenagers are interested in violent or terrorist-themed games,
such
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 as PUBG, CS:GO, or GTA. These games can affect their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 and mindset negatively. When young
people
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 play these genres passionately, it can
influence
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 them to become aggressive.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that using social
media
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 for studying is a good way to avoid excessive problems.
For example
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, many young
people
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 use YouTube and other platforms for educational purposes.
This
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 way, social
media
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 becomes a helpful tool. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have valid points.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that social
media
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influencers
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 have a positive impact, others think it is harmful. In my opinion,
this
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 is true. Because social
media
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 has caused a lot of harm, especially to young
peope
Correct your spelling
people
.

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task achievement
Expand on your examples and provide more relevant specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure you clearly articulate your stance in the conclusion, as it seems slightly ambiguous on whether you believe the influence is more positive or negative.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases. This will help improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a more balanced presentation of both sides before concluding with a stronger personal opinion. This will enhance the logical structure.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear overview of both sides of the argument, including positive impacts and potential harms of social media influencers.
coherence and cohesion
You have a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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