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Writing Samples
Band 5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

Dear Sir, I hope you are doing well. As an Owner of
5th
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the 5th
a 5th
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 floor, I want to write
this
Linking Words
 letter to explain the situation
about
Change preposition
with
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 my roommate.
This
Linking Words
 letter is not about just complaining
the
Change preposition
about the
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 roommate, but the situation getting bad for me. He
habitual
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is habitual
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 of sleeping late at night because of using
phone
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a phone
the phone
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 with high volume it made harder for me to fall asleep early and I have to wake up early in
morning
Add an article
the morning
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 because of work.
Moreover
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,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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 his guests arrive
for
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apply
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late
night
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at night
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 and they use
Add an article
the speaker
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speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
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 for entertainment
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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affects
Wrong verb form
affected
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 me
most
Correct article usage
the most
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, I
was
Wrong verb form
am
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 not able to concentrate on my work and study.
Due to
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
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 I have to stay
late
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up late
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night
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at night
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for doing
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to do
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 all jobs.
Also
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, he
passionate
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is passionate
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for
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about
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 music
that’s
Correct your spelling
that is
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 a good thing but playing
guitar
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the guitar
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 all the time without thinking about
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 if they get disturbed that
annoying
Wrong verb form
annoys
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 me most. If you would provide me
another
Add the preposition
with another
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 flat for
living
Add an article
a living
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then
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 it could be the best option. I am willing to stay single without
roommate
Add an article
a roommate
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. So, I can manage my work and studies effectively on time. Thank you for understanding my situation. Yours sincerely, Prabhnoor Kaur

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure by separating each problem into its own paragraph and expanding on how they specifically affect your ability to study or work.
task achievement
Use a more formal tone throughout the letter, especially in the opening and closing statements.
task achievement
Instead of stating 'not just complaining,' clarify that you understand the importance of sharing space and simply wish to find a better solution.
task achievement
You expressed your concerns directly and clearly, which makes it easy for the reader to understand your issues.
coherence and cohesion
Your closing statement is polite and shows appreciation, maintaining a respectful tone throughout the letter.

Contractions

Formal and informal language refers to using different forms of language in different settings.

In informal writing, you can use contractions such as I’ll and Сan’t.

In formal writing, you should write I will and Can not.

Do not use exclamation mark in formal writing, but you can use it in informal writing.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation officer
  • roommate
  • share a room
  • living arrangement
  • difficult to work
  • noise levels
  • study environment
  • privacy concerns
  • alternative accommodation
  • single room
  • academic performance
  • well-being
  • respectfully request
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