IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

many countries import food material from other countries. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

It is considered that most of the countries prefer to import
food
Use synonyms
 material from other nations.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages
along with
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 the disadvantages of the notion in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
, the predominant one is
people
Use synonyms
 can change the taste of
tongue
Correct pronoun usage
their tongue
show examples
, which
also
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 indirectly
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
 the economy of the
country
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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, when nations import
food
Use synonyms
 from other ones
then
Linking Words
 it influences the masses, to taste cuisines which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to increase income levels in the form of tax.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by a national sample survey organisation found that in India individuals spend 30 per cent of their income eating different popular imported foods which assists in boosting the
country
Use synonyms
's economy.
Hence
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, it is good to trade
food
Use synonyms
 owing to benefits either to
people
Use synonyms
 or the
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, the cons
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 imported
food
Use synonyms
 material lower the worth of traditional
food
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
. To explain it,
due to
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 the popularity of foreign
food
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 do not give preference to eating their cultural
food
Use synonyms
 which not only affects the importance of culture but
also
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 deprives
people
Use synonyms
 of its knowledge. To cite an example, a headline on BBC revealed that since foreign
food
Use synonyms
 gets imported into other countries it loses the worth of religious
food
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, the
people
Use synonyms
 receiving the
country
Use synonyms
 may develop detachment from their traditional and cultural
food
Use synonyms
 items. In conclusion,
although
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 overseas
food
Use synonyms
 offers a chance to get a great range of variety
as well as
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 assist to incline economy level yet it
also
Linking Words
 reduces the value of the
country
Use synonyms
's own
food
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
While your introduction adequately outlines the essay's purpose, consider adding a clear thesis statement that previews the main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphs are organized logically, yet some transitions could be smoother to enhance flow. Consider using linking words more effectively between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You provided examples to support your points, but they could be developed further. Consider elaborating on how the examples directly illustrate your arguments.
Task Achievement
You address both advantages and disadvantages of importing food, which shows a balanced perspective on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easier for readers to follow your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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