IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

something about is it the government reposibiligy to take care if envirnoment or people ? write 250 word

There is no doubt that these days there is a lot of
argueing
Correct your spelling
arguing
 regarding whose rule to save the environment. The question is, is it the
Use synonyms
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 rule or
people
Use synonyms
 should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility? In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am going to discuss both views and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of the
Use synonyms
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 role, the main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is that governments
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a huge role in the wellness of the environment, without their contribution
people
Use synonyms
 will not find the need to take care of it. To illustrate, putting fees on throwing garbage on the street
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 made a positive impact on
this
Linking Words
 matter.
In other words
Linking Words
, having the
government
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
help and guide their
people
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 will make a difference but it
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
 go any
further
Linking Words
 without
people
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's
invovlment
Correct your spelling
involvement
.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 need to take
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 for sure.
Firstly
Linking Words
, without the help of
people
Use synonyms
 and their
involvement
Add a comma
involvement,
show examples
 there would be no point even if the
government
Use synonyms
 tried to save the
environmint
Correct your spelling
environment
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
's actions and way of living
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 a huge difference,
alsp
Correct your spelling
also
discplining
Correct your spelling
disciplining
 all of the
citizins
Correct your spelling
citizens
 would be impossible to achieve and maintain.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 have
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
responsiblities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
such
Linking Words
 as saving the world from criminals
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc, so focusing on the environment would be difficult for them. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 plays a major role in saving the
envirnmint
Correct your spelling
environment
,
therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that its the
people
Use synonyms
's responsibility to save the
envirnmint
Correct your spelling
environment
 without their contribution there would be
choas
Correct your spelling
chaos
 all over the country.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on using varied sentence structures to improve flow and coherence in your writing.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are clearly defined and supported with relevant examples for clarity.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which is good for task response.
coherence and cohesion
You included an introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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