IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You visited post office for sending a packet. There was a long queue and you had to wait long for your turn, Write a letter to Post Master for the same. In your letter, • describe what happened • express your suggestions • say what expectations you have from the postmaster

Respected sir/madam My name is Jasmeen
kaur
Change the capitalization
Kaur
show examples
 and I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to discuss my experience at the post office during my
last
Linking Words
 visit. I had to send a package to
friend
Add an article
a friend
show examples
 of mine urgently, so I went there
last
Linking Words
 Wednesday on my way to work. To start with, the
line up
Correct your spelling
lineup
show examples
 was huge as soon as you
enter
Wrong verb form
entered
show examples
 the building. Unfortunately, I
got
Verb problem
was
show examples
 20 minutes late for my job even though I kept some extra
time
Use synonyms
 aside for stopping by. They were brutally understaffed and the environment was very overwhelming.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I have noticed some senior citizens were having
hard
Change the article
a hard
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 waiting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
line for approximately 45
mins
Correct your spelling
minutes
show examples
 before getting assisted. I would like to suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
hire some
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 help for rush hours which would help the community with the extra set of hands and
as well as
Linking Words
 be efficient with expenses. Having separate help
desk
Fix the agreement mistake
desks
show examples
 for elderly customers can reduce the size of
queue
Add an article
the queue
show examples
 and give them
Correct article usage
the priveledge
show examples
priveledge
Correct your spelling
privilege
 to finish
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whatever they need in
decent
Add an article
a decent
show examples
 amount of
time
Use synonyms
. I would really appreciate immediate measures from your side.
Thankyou
Correct your spelling
Thank you
show examples
 for your
time
Use synonyms
. Regards, Jasmeen Kaur

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main point of each paragraph. This will enhance the logical flow of your letter.
task achievement
While your tone is generally appropriate, ensure that your language remains formal throughout, especially in suggestions and requests.
task achievement
You effectively described your experience and the challenges faced during your visit, which gives a clear context to the reader.
task achievement
Your suggestion for a help desk for elderly customers shows thoughtfulness and consideration for the needs of the community, which is commendable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: