IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

In developing countries, some people believe that governments should give people access to new technology in order to improve their lives, while others think governments should offer free education. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.

New technology and free
education
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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 a lot of different things,
education
Use synonyms
 could be on paper not
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Ipad
Correct your spelling
iPad
show examples
 and new
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 is not mandatory to study. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I'll explain both and provide my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, new technology can help kids to mix learning with fun,
also
Linking Words
 will be easiest to
teaching
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 and full of
colorfull
Correct your spelling
colourful
.
Furthermore
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, It will be cheaper than
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 way
for example
Linking Words
, if the government provide tablets
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will be used
more
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for more
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 than 3 years
instead
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 of
prints
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printing
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 books
annual
Change the word
annually
show examples
.
Secondly
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, there are
variaty
Correct your spelling
variety
 between
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 in
education
Use synonyms
 levels.
However
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, investing in
education
Use synonyms
 will be
revenieu
Correct your spelling
revenue
 with good benefits
is
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 spending wisely,
Moreover
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, if you have communities not learned they will have
high
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a high
the high
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 number of crimes.
Lastely
Correct your spelling
Lastly
Lately
, I do agree that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should provide
education
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society rather than
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is
essntial
Correct your spelling
essential
whereas
Linking Words
 technology is a second thing.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to present a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your opinion, alongside the main points you'll discuss. This will guide your essay's structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs each have a clear main idea followed by supporting details. This could be improved, for example, by separating the points on technology and education into distinct paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Avoid spelling mistakes and phrasing errors to strengthen your arguments, such as 'colorful' instead of 'colorfull' and 'variety' instead of 'variaty'. This helps maintain a professional tone.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning particular technologies that have improved education or statistics about crime rates in relation to education levels.
Task Achievement
You demonstrate an understanding of both sides of the argument, which supports your essay's development and shows critical thinking.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion clearly states your opinion, which is an important part of addressing the task requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • catalyze
  • economic growth
  • healthcare systems
  • digital divide
  • socio-economic gaps
  • e-waste
  • fundamental right
  • uplifts communities
  • skilled workforce
  • gender equality
  • social justice
  • sustainability
  • job creation
  • access to information
  • balanced approach
  • skill-based learning
  • sequential approach
What to do next:
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