Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Few individuals think that celebrating

self achievements

Add a hyphen

self-achievements

show examples

is a waste of dollars. Other humans believe that these happy

occaisions

Correct your spelling

occasions

play a vital role in the journeys of people

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and in the community in general.

While

Linking Words

both views are respected,

this

Linking Words

essay will be provided with my own opinion. Expressing cheerful feelings by

beaing

Correct your spelling

being

beating

bearing

satesfied

Correct your spelling

satisfied

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

your

accompleshmint

Correct your spelling

accomplishment

accomplishments

is pivotal for reinforcing your confidence. A study has been

contucted

Correct your spelling

conducted

Change preposition

show examples

Yale University, saying that you will be stronger when you celebrate and

make

Correct your spelling

take

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

positive action after you pass a

chellenging

Correct your spelling

challenging

phase in your life.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Personal thrives must be celebrated to maintain

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good self-esteem.

However

Linking Words

, cheering about your goals can have a dark side. some people have been lavishing significant

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

of money on personal winnings which

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

negative habit when it comes to

perserving

Correct your spelling

preserving

your

whealth

Correct your spelling

wealth

health

Moreover

Linking Words

, Spending tremendous currency on achievements is not a reasonable notion. A perfect example to demonstrate

this

Linking Words

kindergarden

Correct your spelling

kindergarten

celebrations. Some parents had spent so much cash before they prepared a huge party for their excellent child after he

overcome

Wrong verb form

overcame

show examples

his simister properly. In my opinion, every

singal

Correct your spelling

single

person has the right to express happiness after they have obtained a certificate.

For instance

Linking Words

, a boy says in 2 years I will be finishing

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

high school, and my family will arrange a great event for me. Now if the mother and father will not do

this

Linking Words

, their son will be

frustated

Correct your spelling

frustrated

and

this

Linking Words

can diminish his

determenation

Correct your spelling

determination

in the future.

To sum up

Linking Words

, I advocate for Celebrating personal wins.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, mankind should allocate a rational proportion of their income to celebrate.

Also

Linking Words

, Purchasing gifts

Change preposition

for

show examples

yourself, and inviting your friends for the sake of having

briliant

Correct your spelling

brilliant

memories

worths

Wrong verb form

worth

show examples

your every penny.

abdullahalraddadi1Sun May 04 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction could be clearer by directly stating both sides of the argument before leading into your opinion. Try rephrasing it for clearer guidance to the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point that links back to the thesis. Some points could be better highlighted to maintain a strong flow throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

While you have provided opinions and examples, they need to be more relevant and specific to strengthen your arguments. Consider using more cohesive transitions between your examples and main points.

Task Achievement

Review your spelling and grammar to reduce minor inaccuracies, which can sometimes distract the reader from understanding your points clearly.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a fair discussion of both sides of the topic, showcasing an understanding of the issue at hand and presenting a balanced view.

Task Achievement

You have included personal examples and references to studies, which adds depth to your points and shows initiative in supporting your views.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lavish parties
essential expenditures
financial stress
lasting memories
social bonds
emotional support
familial and social ties
mental health
community cohesion
cultural heritage
sense of identity
traditional practices
sense of belonging
continuity
unique cultural aspects
personal well-being
routine
life satisfaction
reasonable budget
cost-effective
potluck parties

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Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some parents believe that students must work hark at school and spend their free time learning their school lessons, while others believe that students need to spend their free time playing and developing other skills. With which opinion do you agree? Use spesific reasons to support your opinion.

In recent days, a lot of people are spending a lot of money on celebrating personal family events, for example, New Year celebrations, birthdays, weddings and so on.

Some people believe that touristsdo not learn anything during their holidays, while others believe that they learn a lot. Discuss both sides .

It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they do not enjoy. Do you agree or disagree?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?