Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Despite the fact that parents are mostly responsible for bringing up their offspring, there is a debate that outside influence is more
affective
in turns of character development of a child. I do not support Correct your spelling
effective
this
view, owing to the fact that parental influence is more dominant compared to Linking Words
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
surrounding
.
First and foremost, mom and dad from the first day of birth of their kid start to put the primary foundation. Children Replace the word
surroundings
inherite
certain parts of both parents’s personalities and predispositions . Later, parental figures raise character in a kid to make him or her behave the way they want to through teaching them habits and supporting them with their own Correct your spelling
inherit
inherited
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
For instance
, parents who have already reached the point of success in a particular direction , usually persuade their offspring to develop in the sphere where they can acquire better qualifications and results. Linking Words
Hence
, kids continue a career that their Linking Words
mom
and dads started before. Fix the agreement mistake
moms
This
Linking Words
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
existence
of generations of particular professions in families.
It is irrefutable that society and Add an article
the existence
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
surrounding
have a huge effect on the Replace the word
surroundings
personality
and quality development of a person. The country, nationality and social Use synonyms
surrounding
build a Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
personality
, especially at the period of them being teenagers. Children of Use synonyms
this
age usually act Linking Words
basing
on the Change the form of the verb
based
behavior
of their friends and mostly try to fit in the companies they are in. Change the spelling
behaviour
However
, there are no sufficient results to say that Linking Words
general
Correct article usage
the general
surrounding
of a kid Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
outdo
parental responsibilities and merits. Change the verb form
outdoes
Furthermore
, relatives provide financial aid, and the importance of it in Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
personality
and professional growth can not be denied, Use synonyms
due to
the fact that success without investments today is impossible to reach.
In conclusion, outside influence is vital in general Linking Words
personality
growth, yet parental support directly influences Use synonyms
on
the life decisions and future Change preposition
apply
qualification
of a child, which Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
make
them more powerful in turns of creating a new mature person.Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
seriiiik135
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clearer connection between ideas in your paragraphs to enhance logical flow. Consider using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task response
Expand on your thesis statement to clearly outline your main points. This helps in guiding the reader on what to expect in your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This could strengthen your argument about parental influence vs. outside influences.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion and maintain it throughout the essay. Your stance is well defined, which is crucial for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument and draws attention to the issue at hand. A solid introduction is important for engaging the reader.
task response
You acknowledge counterarguments regarding the influence of society, demonstrating critical thinking and awareness of the issue.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite