IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions? Umar

Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
take care of old people because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to look after them.
This
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
essay will discuss that people
may
Correct pronoun usage
who may
show examples
 take
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 to
nursing
Add an article
a nursing
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 can be the main issue and the most suitable
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 to hire a special worker who
attend
Change the verb form
attends
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them. The main difficulty is that
adults
Use synonyms
 may
sent
Change the verb form
send
be sent
show examples
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 generation to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 special
home
Use synonyms
. Sending them can be morally awful for
adults
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the parents can feel the same feelings of being abandoned and lonely which can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress or other
ilness
Correct your spelling
illnesses
. There is a classic example, in 2019 in Japan International Nursing
Home
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
surveyed
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
thousands of old citizens and most of them complained that their children passed them
due to
Linking Words
 shortage of enough
time
Use synonyms
 in spite of the moral. The main difficulty is that
adults
Use synonyms
 may
sent
Change the verb form
send
be sent
show examples
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 generation to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 special
home
Use synonyms
. Sending them can be morally awful for
adults
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the parents can feel the same feelings of being abandoned and lonely which can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress or other
ilness
Correct your spelling
illnesses
. There is a classic example, in 2019 in Japan International Nursing
Home
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
surveyed
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
thousands of old citizens and most of them complained that their children passed them
due to
Linking Words
 shortage of enough
time
Use synonyms
 in spite of the moral. In conclusion,the main issue is
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of
time
Use synonyms
 the old can be sent to the
retairenment
Correct your spelling
retirement
home
Use synonyms
 and the most viable
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
 is to employ a caregiver.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed explanations and a wider range of ideas regarding the problems of caring for the elderly. You can also include additional examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Each paragraph should connect clearly to the next, and ideas should transition smoothly for better coherence.
grammatical range and accuracy
Revise your grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and correct word forms (e.g., 'lack of time', not 'are lack of time').
task achievement
You have clearly identified a main issue (the emotional impact of sending elderly people to nursing homes) and suggested a possible solution, which gives your essay direction.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a framework for your discussion, demonstrating some structure.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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