IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Animals are used around the world for a variety of purposes, such as medical testing and food. While many people believe this is justified, others feel that animals should not be exploited by humans. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

There are two main reasons why many people feel the use of
animals
Use synonyms
 may be justified.
Firstly
Linking Words
, meat from
animals
Use synonyms
 can be a vital source of nutrition.
For example
Linking Words
, foods
such
Linking Words
 as beef or chicken are often high in protein, which is necessary for a balanced diet. Not eating meat may lead to illness
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of vitamins and minerals.
Furthermore
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, scientists argue that
animals
Use synonyms
 are needed for medical testing. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that it is often too dangerous to test new medicines on humans.
As a result
Linking Words
 of testing on
animals
Use synonyms
, researchers may be able to find effective treatments
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 many counterarguments to using
animals
Use synonyms
. First of all, there are many who argue that a balanced diet can be achieved through veganism.
For instance
Linking Words
, protein can be sourced from non-meat products
such
Linking Words
 as lentils or nuts.
This
Linking Words
 means that one can stay healthy and illness-free without the need
for killing
Change preposition
to kill
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many animal rights activists argue that
animals
Use synonyms
 have feelings just like people do. From
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, keeping an animal in a cage is the same as keeping a human in a cage.

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introduction conclusion present
Consider adding a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and states your overall opinion. This helps to reinforce your argument.
supported main points
Ensure to provide a counterargument in a more balanced manner, possibly giving equal weight to both sides of the discussion before stating your opinion.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments effectively. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your discussion.
content
Your identification of both views regarding the use of animals is well presented, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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