Many young people are spending a lot of time on computers, which makes them less active. What are the reasons? What are some solutions?

Advancement in technology has changed the whole world

due to

Linking Words

which young people spend most of their

time

Use synonyms

on smart gadgets which leads to

less

Add an article

a less

the less

show examples

active lifestyle. The reasons for

this

Linking Words

trend could be

digitalization

Add an article

the digitalization

show examples

education

Use synonyms

and convenience and accessibility

whereas

Linking Words

, the solutions for

this

Linking Words

trend could be

promote

Fix the infinitive

to promote

show examples

physical

activities

Use synonyms

and awareness and support by parents. To commence with, innovation in technology has brought a huge impact

Change preposition

show examples

education

Use synonyms

for the young generation

due to

Linking Words

which they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

frequently spend

time

Use synonyms

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

which leads to

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle.

For example

Linking Words

, in North America, authorities are promoting digital

education

Use synonyms

because it

very

Add a missing verb

is very

show examples

conveninet

Correct your spelling

convenient

Change preposition

for

show examples

the students

as well as

Linking Words

Change preposition

for

show examples

the teachers which not only saves

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

cost-effective.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, smart devices are very comfortable and easy to use which

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

people in their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

like ordering groceries and watching

movie

Fix the agreement mistake

movies

show examples

while

Linking Words

sitting

home

Change preposition

at home

show examples

or anywhere.

As a result

Linking Words

popularity

Add an article

the popularity

show examples

sophisiticated

Correct your spelling

sophisticated

gadgets is quite high among

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

because of the numerous benefits.

Change preposition

show examples

contrary

Correct article usage

the contrary

show examples

, people should pay attention to the health of their

children

Use synonyms

otherwise

Linking Words

it can lead to health issues. The schools should conduct physical

activities

Use synonyms

classes where they can build

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

interest among young

children

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

their health. It would be beneficial for their

overall

Linking Words

growth.

Although

Linking Words

it is difficult to promote physical

activities

Use synonyms

between

Change preposition

among

show examples

youngsters, it is

achieveable

Correct your spelling

achievable

with

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

approach and awareness.

For instance

Linking Words

, parents should spend

time

Use synonyms

with their

children

Use synonyms

and provide

education

Use synonyms

related to the usage of smart devices where they should use

electronics

Replace the word

electronic

show examples

devices for educational purposes to enhance their skills rather than playing video games.

Consequently

Linking Words

, proper

education

Use synonyms

should be provided to the students for the fruitful results. In

conculsion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

while

Linking Words

officials are bringing

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

technology for the betterment of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, it is the responsibility of the parents to provide adequate

knoweldge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

to their

children

Use synonyms

where

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

they can maintain a balance between device usage

as well as

Linking Words

physical

activities

Use synonyms

sarabjotk11Tue May 06 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and develops that point fully. Some ideas need more elaboration and specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the flow of ideas by using more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the coherence of your writing. Some sections feel a bit disconnected.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to word choice and spelling, such as 'conveninet' and 'sophisiticated,' to prevent inaccuracies that can slightly detract from clarity.

task achievement

The essay presents relevant ideas about the impact of technology on youth and potential solutions, showing a good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is a positive aspect for coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Many young people are spending a lot of time on computers, which makes them less active. What are the reasons? What are some solutions?

Include an introduction and conclusion

the increasing prevalence of sedentary lifestyles and unhealthy eating habits, obesity has become a major health problem in many countries. What factors contribute to this issue, and what actions can individuals and governments take to address it?

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Practice 2: Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why is this? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites?

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree?