Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given to protect wild animal and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that reserving birds and wild animals requires a wide range of time and various kinds of resources namely money, natural materials and information.
This
author disagrees with this
statement due to
the demand of investing
in Change preposition
to invest
educational
system and the allocation for impoverished inhabitants.
It is obvious that there are various issues that require the investment of the government Add an article
the educational
due to
technological advances such
as education and transportation. Concerning the former, societies should not only pay more attention to upgrading education facilities, but they also
reduce fees for students having financial problems leading to a wide range of better opportunities for potential students in order to improve their countries. Secondly
, there is more and more traffic congestion around the world because of the large number of citizens; hence
, many countries should invest funds in developing road systems. For example
, in Vietnam, the government need to spend money on transportation in order to extend or flatten roads and reduce traffic jams simultaneously.
In addition
, concentrating on protecting wild animals and birds does not offer an instant profit for humans. Societies may use many for charity to a significant decrease in poverty. Additionally
, some families having financial issues can come over more easily and conveniently in the present time. To cite an instance, many charity activities are organized in Vietnam to be of assistance to people to meet their demands effectively in the present time.
In conclusion, the government should focus on several fundamental matters such
as transportation and education instead
of covering wild animals and birds today.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
While your main points are clear and relevant, enhancing the depth of your arguments would make your essay more convincing. Consider providing more detailed examples and explaining your points further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, but there are occasional gaps in flow. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next one. Use linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which concisely state your position and summarize your arguments. This is important for maintaining focus.
task achievement
Your response directly addresses the prompt and presents two main arguments against the idea that too many resources and too much attention are given to wild animals and birds.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?