Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given to protect wild animal and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that reserving birds and wild animals requires a wide range of time and various kinds of resources namely money, natural materials and information.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

author disagrees with
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the demand
of investing
Change preposition
to invest

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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in
educational
Add an article
the educational

The noun phrase educational system seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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system and the allocation for impoverished inhabitants. It is obvious that there are various issues that require the investment of the government
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

technological advances
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as education and transportation. Concerning the former, societies should not only pay more attention to upgrading education facilities, but they
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

reduce fees for students having financial problems leading to a wide range of better opportunities for potential students in order to improve their countries.
Secondly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is more and more traffic congestion around the world because of the large number of citizens;
hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many countries should invest funds in developing road systems.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Vietnam, the government need to spend money on transportation in order to extend or flatten roads and reduce traffic jams simultaneously.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, concentrating on protecting wild animals and birds does not offer an instant profit for humans. Societies may use many for charity to a significant decrease in poverty.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some families having financial issues can come over more easily and conveniently in the present time. To cite an instance, many charity activities are organized in Vietnam to be of assistance to people to meet their demands effectively in the present time. In conclusion, the government should focus on several fundamental matters
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as transportation and education
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of covering wild animals and birds today.
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task achievement
While your main points are clear and relevant, enhancing the depth of your arguments would make your essay more convincing. Consider providing more detailed examples and explaining your points further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, but there are occasional gaps in flow. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next one. Use linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which concisely state your position and summarize your arguments. This is important for maintaining focus.
task achievement
Your response directly addresses the prompt and presents two main arguments against the idea that too many resources and too much attention are given to wild animals and birds.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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