IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that technology has made our lives more convenient, while others argue that it has caused more harm than good. Discuss both views and give your opinion

On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Use synonyms
, every now
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 should
Use synonyms
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 all the
care
Use synonyms
 for the
children
Use synonyms
. I should say the
childcare
Use synonyms
 now is
Use synonyms
nicesr
Correct your spelling
nicer
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 before. On the
Use synonyms
aother
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
evrey
Correct your spelling
every
Use synonyms
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 what the best for
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
fox
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Use synonyms
, every now
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 should
Use synonyms
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 all the
care
Use synonyms
 for the
children
Use synonyms
. I should say the
childcare
Use synonyms
 now is
Use synonyms
nicesr
Correct your spelling
nicer
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 before. On the
Use synonyms
aother
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
evrey
Correct your spelling
every
Use synonyms
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 what the best for
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
fox
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Use synonyms
, every now
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 should
Use synonyms
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 all the
care
Use synonyms
 for the
children
Use synonyms
. I should say the
childcare
Use synonyms
 now is
Use synonyms
nicesr
Correct your spelling
nicer
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 before. On the
Use synonyms
aother
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
evrey
Correct your spelling
every
Use synonyms
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 what the best for
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
fox
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Use synonyms
, every now
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 should
Use synonyms
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 all the
care
Use synonyms
 for the
children
Use synonyms
. I should say the
childcare
Use synonyms
 now is
Use synonyms
nicesr
Correct your spelling
nicer
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 before. On the
Use synonyms
aother
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
evrey
Correct your spelling
every
Use synonyms
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 what the best for
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
fox
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Use synonyms
, every now
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 should
Use synonyms
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 all the
care
Use synonyms
 for the
children
Use synonyms
. I should say the
childcare
Use synonyms
 now is
Use synonyms
nicesr
Correct your spelling
nicer
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 before. On the
Use synonyms
aother
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
evrey
Correct your spelling
every
Use synonyms
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 what the best for
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
fox
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Use synonyms
, every now
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 should
Use synonyms
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 all the
care
Use synonyms
 for the
children
Use synonyms
. I should say the
childcare
Use synonyms
 now is
Use synonyms
nicesr
Correct your spelling
nicer
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 before. On the
Use synonyms
aother
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
evrey
Correct your spelling
every
Use synonyms
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 what the best for
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
fox
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Use synonyms
, every now
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 should
Use synonyms
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 all the
care
Use synonyms
 for the
children
Use synonyms
. I should say the
childcare
Use synonyms
 now is
Use synonyms
nicesr
Correct your spelling
nicer
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 before. On the
Use synonyms
aother
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
evrey
Correct your spelling
every
Use synonyms
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 what the best for
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
fox
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Use synonyms
, every now
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
 should
Use synonyms
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 all the
care
Use synonyms
 for the
children
Use synonyms
. I should say the
childcare
Use synonyms
 now is
Use synonyms
nicesr
Correct your spelling
nicer
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 before. On the
Use synonyms
aother
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
evrey
Correct your spelling
every
Use synonyms
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
 what the best for
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
fox
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction is quite unclear, and it needs to state a clear thesis or main argument that outlines the views you will discuss. Make sure to clarify what you mean by the terms used.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain a logical structure throughout your essay with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a specific point related to your argument. This will improve readability.
task achievement
Develop your points with more detailed examples or explanations. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
language
There are several spelling and grammatical errors in your essay (e.g., 'provid' instead of 'provide', 'nicesr' instead of 'nicer'). Consider proofreading your work for accuracy.
task achievement
It is great that you have attempted to present a view on childcare and the role of parents.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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