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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of people who visited different museums in London.

The bar chart shows the number of people who visited different museums in London.
The bar chart delineates the comparison of various
museum
Use synonyms
 categories in London in terms of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
visits
Use synonyms
 from June to October in an unspecified year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 was not only the first-choice destination among
4
Correct article usage
the 4
show examples
surveyed but
also
Linking Words
 the only one that saw an increase in its number of
visits
Use synonyms
 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. Another interesting highlight is that most visitors opted for August to be a perfect time to visit museums. Starting in June, the number of guests to History,
British
Use synonyms
 and Science museums
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 relatively akin, at a bit higher than 400,000
whereas
Linking Words
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 recorded half the figure, around 200,000
visits
Use synonyms
. These quantities of History,
British
Use synonyms
 and National museums remained fairly constant in the subsequent month before skyrocketing to a high of 600,000, over 700,000 and more than 300,000
visits
Use synonyms
 in August respectively.
This
Linking Words
 was, unfortunately, followed by a sudden drop in the next two months to a low of 250,000 (History
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
), 450,000 (
British
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
) and 180,000 (National
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
). Meanwhile, after the first 3 months
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 relatively the same, the figure for
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
 shot up to 500,000
visits
Use synonyms
 in September before a pullback to 300,000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the time frame.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, visits, british with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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