IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to do same type of work all their lives, while others enjoy changing the work they do. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many
Use synonyms
people's
Unnecessary verb
people
show examples
 like to do
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 type of
work
Use synonyms
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 their whole
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,at the same time some
Use synonyms
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
 love to
change
Use synonyms
 their
work
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their convenience. I can explain both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views very briefly in the coming paragraphs. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 it's very hard to
stuck
Add a missing verb
be stuck
show examples
 in
one
Use synonyms
 firm and
work
Use synonyms
 for the company
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 your entire life .
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, there are so many advantages to
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 with the same boss
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
colleagues .
While
Linking Words
 working
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
paricular
Correct your spelling
particular
 field for a long time
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 entire knowledge about the firm and may promoted to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher post in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 few years and
also
Linking Words
 can achieve good incentives
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the owner of the company.I would like to enhance
one
Use synonyms
 good example which was experienced
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 working as a kitchen helper in a famous restaurant
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 15 years and I
got
Verb problem
have
show examples
 so much appreciation for
my
Change the word
the
show examples
 hard
work
Use synonyms
 and
extra
Correct article usage
the extra
show examples
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 I used to make all the dishes delicious for the customers.Now
this
Linking Words
 company is opening a new franchise in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 location ,
by
Change preposition
After
show examples
 seeing my
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
positive efforts towards the restaurant they
offer
Wrong verb form
offered
show examples
 me the post of branch manager for the new cafeteria. Perhaps,some
Use synonyms
people's
Change noun form
people
show examples
 would like to
change
Use synonyms
 their jobs very frequently as they are not satisfied
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 working at the same place for more than
one
Use synonyms
 or two years ,they can easily fed up with the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and find all the negative aspects
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their prescribed chores.
However
Linking Words
,those
people
Use synonyms
 get easily offended
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their colleagues and cannot maintain good relationships with management and
Co- workers
Correct your spelling
Co-workers
show examples
.
The employee
Correct article usage
Employee
show examples
 who
change
Use synonyms
 their duties very Off and On
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
never meet with good promotions and
also
Linking Words
 they have to try very hard to make their space in the firms .There is
one
Use synonyms
 famous
say
Replace the word
saying
show examples
 relating to
this
Linking Words
 statement that " first impressions is the
last
Linking Words
 impression "
According to
Linking Words
 my knowledge
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 always run
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 phrase by changing their field
instead
Linking Words
 of
enjoying
Correct pronoun usage
enjoying it
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 in conclusion
people
Use synonyms
 should try to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same field until any circumstances
occurs
Change the verb form
occur
show examples
,rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
jump on different works to earn some extra income and
change
Use synonyms
 of environment.

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language
Some grammatical errors need to be corrected (e.g., 'Many people's like' should be 'Many people like').
language
Word choice can be improved for clarity (e.g., 'stuck' could be 'stay' or 'remain'). Try to use synonyms to avoid repetition.
structure
Break down longer sentences to enhance readability and ensure clarity in your ideas.
example
You provided a personal experience to illustrate your point, which adds a nice touch to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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