We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some
people
believe that we should only pay attention to our society and countryUse synonyms
,
because we are not able to help everyone across the globe. I Remove the comma
apply
cempletely
disagree with Correct your spelling
completely
this
view Linking Words
due to
two main reasons, which will be outlined in Linking Words
this
essay.
Linking Words
Firstly
, it might be true that we are not able to help all the individuals in the Linking Words
world
, But we can help Use synonyms
to
the Change preposition
apply
greate
number of them. Nowadays, the development of technology, Correct your spelling
greatest
internet
, and social media has allowed individuals to share their problems across the the Correct article usage
the internet
world
. Use synonyms
Therfore
, Correct your spelling
Therefore
everyone
can simply help them by a click on their phone. Replace the word
every one
For instance
, in my country, Linking Words
people
with rare diseases are usually struggling with high treatment costs. Usually, they provide their costs through the donation of Use synonyms
people
across the Use synonyms
world
. So, Use synonyms
people
can help each other regardless of their distance thanks to Use synonyms
the
technology.
Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, ignoring issues in other countries might Linking Words
worst
the situation and even lead to expansion of problems into our country. Some regional problems might not be solvable without the contribution of other nations. Replace the word
worsen
The
true example of Correct article usage
A
this
can be seen in the war between Linking Words
ukrain
and Correct your spelling
Ukraine
russia
. If the European countries do not support the Change the capitalization
Russia
ukrain
, there is no doubt that they would be the next target of Correct your spelling
Ukraine
Russa
. Correct your spelling
Russia
Therefore
, being careless about what Linking Words
happen
to the other communities might face us with the same problem.
In conclusion, it has been argued that helping everyone in the Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
world
is unsustainable and we should only take care of our society and nation. I disagree with Use synonyms
this
idea because of Linking Words
discussed
reasons.Correct article usage
the discussed
ali2000karimy
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task achievement
Ensure that you provide a more comprehensive exploration of the topic, focusing on both sides of the argument if applicable. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of your essay, making it easier for readers to follow your argument. This will help with coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have presented clear arguments in support of your opinion, including personal examples, which is commendable.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as the situation with rare diseases, adds credibility to your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite