Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Full
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Full-time
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time
Use synonyms
education
on
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for
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teenagers is a very relevant topic. I agree that every kid needs to go through
a
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an
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education program until they turn eighteen years old and
these
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this
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essay will
adress
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address
and explain my position. In the past, the
jewish
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Jewish
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community allowed teenagers to drop
school
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and work with their parents from an early age,
also
Linking Words
meaning they would not be attending
collage
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college
show examples
. On
one
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the one
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hand
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hand,
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this
Linking Words
situation offers independence and
responsabilities
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responsibilities
dor
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for
show examples
adolecent
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adolescents
in
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apply
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between the ages of 16 to 18.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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I believe that every
stydent
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student
should complete all 12 years from primary to high
school
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. Nowadays, it is not that common for that to happen, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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every kid needs to experience
school
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social
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socially
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and academically. Schools have the basic knowledge required to be
succesfull
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successful
at
collage
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college
show examples
teaching subjects
such
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as mathematics, science, literature, ethics, and
extracurrical
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extracurricular
classes
for example
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adittional
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additional
languages like
spanish
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Spanish
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or in our case hebrew.
Furthermore
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, schools develop discipline in children with
time
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managment
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management
and structured deadlines for
school
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and/or homework
as well as
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test
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tests
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and important tests.
Moreover
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having a
full
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full-time
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time
Use synonyms
eduaction
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education
covering eight hours of the day,
implement
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implements
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fundamental values
such
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as sharing, problem solving, empathy,
risk taking
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risk-taking
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, high
selfsteem
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self-esteem
self esteem
, confidence,
team work
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teamwork
show examples
, creativity,
critical
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and critical
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and
theorical
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theoretical
thinking among many other social skills.
To conclude
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, I
mantain
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maintain
my posture that young people should be required to a
full
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full-time
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time
Use synonyms
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
at least until they are legal, which eighteen is considered adulthood in Mexico City, and
succesfully
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successfully
graduate from
highschool
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high school
show examples
with an outstanding grade and
longlasting
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long-lasting
show examples
friendships because
school
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prepares is a safe space for
may
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many
show examples
people before having eye-opening experiences that makes them realize what real life is about. Community’s feedback

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve clarity and coherence in your arguments. Make sure to properly structure your paragraphs and maintain a logical flow from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This could involve examples of the benefits of education or statistics surrounding educational achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Correcting minor errors can help improve the overall quality of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and addresses the prompt effectively.
task achievement
You provide a variety of reasons to support your argument, showcasing your thoughts on the importance of education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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