IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the last century, urban development has focused on building tall building as opposed to wide flat ones. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Accomodation
Correct your spelling
Accommodation
Accommodations
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
changin
Correct your spelling
changing
 in the
last
Linking Words
 century, wide flat buildings
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 replaced
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 tall structures. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
firstly
Linking Words
 the advantages will be enumerated.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the disadvantages will be highlighted.
Finally
Linking Words
, a suitable conclusion will be provided. Taller constructions are a response to the large number of
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer to live in a central city in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 society. With
this
Linking Words
 type of
apartments
Fix the agreement mistake
apartment
show examples
 more
people
Use synonyms
 can live in the same area and, naturally, the housing offer can increase and with
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 can get into the property ladder.
Consequently
Linking Words
, for the majors and their teams the urban planification is easier to prepare and the hotspots of traffic can be controlled more efficently. On the flip side, density is a real issue when the contrustuctions are taller. The public spaces in the major cities of the world have problems when it comes to the events that are taking
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 there. The lack of personal space in parks, cinemas and malls
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 damaging the whole point of those places. Some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay at their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 because of the uncontrolled mass of
people
Use synonyms
 walking around. Given the above, the number of citizens in certain areas
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 resulting in a garbage problem for their inhabitants and,
by
Change preposition
as
show examples
consequence
Correct article usage
a consequence
show examples
, some diseases are
spreding
Correct your spelling
spreading
speeding
 faster. In conclusion, there are many advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 construction method, the are many opportunities to buy an
aparment
Correct your spelling
apartment
 and it is easier to find one in a
distric
Correct your spelling
district
 of your choice.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the density of these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of housing can result in a mental health problem.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy, particularly in terms of subject-verb agreement and spelling. For example, 'accommodation' should be spelled correctly and 'have been changing' could be used instead of 'have been changin'.
content
Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples and explanations. This could strengthen your arguments about advantages and disadvantages.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing. Consider synonyms or alternative phrases for commonly used words.
structure
The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
The discussion of both advantages and disadvantages shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban development
  • High-rise buildings
  • Skyscrapers
  • Mixed-use developments
  • Vertical construction
  • Urban heat island effect
  • Structural integrity
  • Evacuation procedures
  • Economical land use
  • City skyline
  • Environmental conservation
  • Tourism boost
  • Social interactions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: