After graduation many students take a year to travel. Some think that it would be more useful to work for a year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
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day and age, the trend of
students
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choosing to take gap years before enrolling in university is happening worldwide, leading to an increasingly controversial question of whether working
experience
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or travel is more crucial in the future for them. In my view gaining
working
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work
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experience
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is more beneficial since it not only offers
students
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practical
skills
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but
also
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helps them in managing their budgets. One noticeable advantage of doing vocational work during the gap year period is how it provides
skills
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that the
students
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can apply in later life. Specifically, through interacting and working with co-workers in completing tasks and projects, the young generation will have chances to be exposed to real-life working conditions,
therefore
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enhancing communication
skills
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and teamwork. Not only do these essential
skills
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give them hands-on
experience
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but they
also
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make them more well-prepared for their future ahead.
For instance
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, many large companies these days demand soft
skills
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over certain academic certifications and
skills
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youngsters gain from their previous jobs can make them stand out from other candidates. Another significant benefit that
students
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can attain from working must be financial management. To clarify, after having received their first salaries,
students
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will be more mature and value the amount of money they have earned since they have to sacrifice the comfort of being cared for by parents to put their effort
as well as
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determination into their work.
Therefore
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, teenagers are becoming more conscious about how their money will be allocated and can calculate possible risks to avoid putting a strain on their budgets.
On the other hand
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, there are some individuals who assert that travelling is advantageous for student's personal growth.
That is
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because when exploring new countries and cultures enables youngsters to broaden their horizons about the world
as well as
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to step out of their norm, which is a stepping stone for them to build up confidence.
While
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this
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point has credibility, it
also
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comes with the cost of solitude feelings and unforeseen challenges that can exacerbate student's travel
experience
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unless there is proper preparedness for the journey.
Thus
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, gaining
experience
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from working is a more sustainable option for teens compared to travelling. In conclusion,
skills
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provision and financial independence encourage
students
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to get working
experience
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rather than go travelling since travelling may contain hidden risks. Ultimately,
this
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essay has proved that gaining working
experience
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is more important than travelling.

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task achievement
You could expand on some points to provide a more well-rounded view. For example, while you present strong arguments for working, consider including a counterargument in more depth to balance your essay further.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your conclusion to reiterate your main points succinctly and reinforce your argument in a compelling way. This would leave a stronger impression on the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples and explanations that support your main points well, reflecting a good understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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