IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
The pie chart illustrates
units
Use synonyms
 of electricity
producing
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 by fuel
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 in two countries Australia and France in two separate
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
production
Use synonyms
 of electricity by fuel
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 in Australia like Coal and
Hydro
Use synonyms
Power
Use synonyms
 were a significant
units
Use synonyms
 in both
years
Use synonyms
, over one third and others Oil and Natural Gas were a quarter.
While
Linking Words
 the total
production
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 fuel in France, the Nuclear
Power
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 and
Hydro
Use synonyms
 ones have
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
enormous
units
Use synonyms
 in both
years
Use synonyms
 and other
units
Use synonyms
 were less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 other ones.
Regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Coal
production
Use synonyms
 was half of the total in 1980 and throughout the 20
years
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, it projected nearly a quarter
Use synonyms
units
Change preposition
of units
show examples
. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
Use synonyms
 was one-fifth and it rose by the end of 2000, it accounts
36
Change preposition
for 36
show examples
 per cent.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the Oil and Natural gas
producing
Replace the word
production
show examples
 was mere 30
units
Use synonyms
 in total and during the 20
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it reduced enormously
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 4 per
sent
Correct your spelling
cent
show examples
 in total. It can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
producing
Replace the word
production
show examples
 of electricity like Coal and Oil was 20 to 25 per cent
units
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 and just the former increased
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 5
units
Use synonyms
 but
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 one
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Nuclear
production
Use synonyms
 was 15
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and it
expands
Wrong verb form
expanded
show examples
 by the end of 2000
years
Use synonyms
, it shows almost
three- fourth
Correct your spelling
three-fourths
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the Natural gas and
Use synonyms
Hydro
Correct your spelling
Hydropower
show examples
power
Use synonyms
 were mere only 30
units
Use synonyms
 in total and they reduced considerably it shows 4
units
Use synonyms
 in total.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words units, years, production, hydro, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity production
  • Fuel source
  • Renewable sources
  • Non-renewable sources
  • Significant change
  • Evolved
  • Dominant source
  • Introduction of new sources
  • Reliance
  • Electricity production mix
  • Environmental implications
  • Future trend
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