IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others feel it is better to start until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

According to
Linking Words
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
individuals
Add a comma
individuals,
show examples
 all infants ought to adopt an overseas
language
Use synonyms
 throughout they commence
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
furthers
Replace the word
further
show examples
ponder
Correct subject-verb agreement
ponders
show examples
 that it is the best way to start
educated
Replace the word
education
show examples
 until a child
at
Add a missing verb
is at
show examples
 secondary
school
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay provides
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
 linked to both insights and
moreover
Linking Words
 my personal
allogation
Correct your spelling
allegation
allocation
. First and foremost, in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 dynamic world, most people concur with
claims
Correct article usage
the claims
show examples
 that all
children
Use synonyms
 should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their earlier pace in order to certain causes.
Thus
Linking Words
, it often can
contributes
Wrong verb form
contribute
show examples
 to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's brain activity and gain skills
such
Linking Words
 as
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
, cognitive and critical thinking and communicative skills in their perspective living.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently, Japanese researchers
scrutinize
Wrong verb form
scrutinised
show examples
 and
reveal
Wrong verb form
revealed
show examples
 that infants who
adopts
Change the verb form
adopt
show examples
 any non-native
language
Use synonyms
 previous their
school
Use synonyms
 period become more
skillfull
Correct your spelling
skilful
,
in other words
Linking Words
, a jack-of-all-trades in upcoming years. Meanwhile, learning international languages even on the verge of
school
Use synonyms
 can open the gates for
children
Use synonyms
 to the world of fairy tales which leads to
master
Wrong verb form
mastering
show examples
 a wide range of knowledge
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early stage.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it assists kids to concentrate solely
science
Change preposition
on science
show examples
 fiction materials when they already study at
school
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some people
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 think
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so,
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
 is why, they opt to
learning
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
certain
Add an article
the certain
a certain
show examples
 international
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
during
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Correct pronoun usage
their school
show examples
 years. Thereby,
children
Use synonyms
 who
possess to
Verb problem
are
show examples
 bilingual or polyglot until their study secondary
school
Use synonyms
 period may encounter the issues by themselves.
In addition
Linking Words
,
general
Change the word
generally
show examples
 overloading
schoochildren
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
 can cause rigorous arduous in their getting multiple various knowledge as consequence.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
exploration
Add an article
the exploration
an exploration
show examples
 of BBC World Service should not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn any
forign
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
for as
show examples
 far as five
years-time
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
. Adequately, it is real that infants can take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 learning
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 in the
school
Use synonyms
 period.
However
Linking Words
, my opinion leans toward the initial statement,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that, adopting learning
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the earliest pace is the best one for whole
children
Use synonyms
 in terms of their common overlook and the bright perspective. In conclusion, it is a fact that most
children
Use synonyms
 learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
school
Correct pronoun usage
their school
show examples
 years,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
better to do
this
Linking Words
 in earlier stages and I
also
Linking Words
 sincerely share
this
Linking Words
 judgement.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on examples to provide more context and clarity; some examples may seem vague or underdeveloped.
task achievement
Clarify your stance in the thesis statement to make it more definitive; your opinion can feel somewhat ambiguous.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of different viewpoints.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to provide examples and support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cultural awareness
  • Enhanced communication skills
  • Neuroplasticity
  • Language acquisition
  • Pedagogical methods
  • Curriculum constraints
  • Workload
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Adaptability
  • Personal experience
  • Critical thinking
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