IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Experts believe that, over the next decade, robots will be doing many of the jobs currently done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this

Among the many aspects where our world is improving, the
use
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 of technology, especially
robots
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, is by far the most rapidly growing field. Not only can
robots
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 make your daily
life
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 easier
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
they can
also
Linking Words
 replace most of our
jobs
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, which can lead to some consequences. So what are the advantages and disadvantages of
robots
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 replacing
humans
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 in some
jobs
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? It is not a secret that certain human
work
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 requires courage and selflessness.
However
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, these
jobs
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 often end with tragedies that can cost not only your health but
also
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 your
life
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.
This
Linking Words
 can be easily avoided by replacing
humans
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 with
robots
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.
For example
Linking Words
 construction zones are very dangerous and accidents can happen, but by replacing
humans
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 with
robots
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 no one gets hurt.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
humans
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 usually
work
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 for a certain amount of time before becoming tired and unable to properly finish tasks,
whereas
Linking Words
robots
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 can
work
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 for an extended time, which can result in finishing projects way sooner than only with human
work
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is more convenient to
use
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robots
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 but one of the biggest problems in our world is unemployment and
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use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of technology to replace
humans
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 is only making
this
Linking Words
 issue bigger. Not only people
won’t
Verb problem
not
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 be able to support themselves,
many
Correct word choice
but many
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 might feel
psychological
Correct article usage
the psychological
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 side effects of losing purpose in
life
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, knowing that they can be replaced any day no matter what the job is. The repercussions of
this
Linking Words
 might lead to rapidly rising severe depression and anxiety levels. In conclusion,
robots
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 are a great alternative for dangerous
jobs
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 that are known for painful accidents,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the
use
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 of them might affect people's employment. In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
 the replacement is a great idea that can bring more convenience in our daily
life
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, as long as it's coordinated with
humans
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, and does not harm the ones who cannot support themselves without a job.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic, but you might want to rephrase the thesis statement to clarify your stance on the balancing act between the advantages and disadvantages of robots in the workforce.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more linking words and phrases to improve flow and connection between ideas. This will help your overall coherence which is important for readability.
task achievement
When discussing the advantages and disadvantages, try to provide more specific examples, especially in your disadvantages section. This will strengthen your argument and help in scoring higher for task achievement.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is essential for this type of discussion question.
task achievement
The examples you provided illustrate your points well, particularly regarding the safety of construction jobs and the potential psychological effects of unemployment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • cost-effective
  • job displacement
  • economic impact
  • skill gap
  • high-skilled labor
  • workplace safety
  • ethical concerns
  • technological advancement
  • human resources
  • retraining programs
  • hazardous environments
What to do next:
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