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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

10.The chart shows the proportion of working age adults in four countries from 1960 to 2015. Units are given in percentages. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

10.The chart shows the proportion of working age adults in four countries from 1960 to 2015. Units are given in percentages. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart provides the percentage of adults of working
age
Use synonyms
 in four countries, namely, France, United States, Japan, and
Germany
Use synonyms
, from 1960 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the ratio of of working all
age
Use synonyms
 population of all countries peaked from 1960 between 2000. Four countries showing that declined significantly by 2050. Despite Japan and
Germany
Use synonyms
both
Use synonyms
 had the highest numbers of working-
age
Use synonyms
 adults in 1990s,
both
Use synonyms
 are forecast to have the lowest by 2050,
while
Linking Words
 France and United States will have the highest.
According to
Linking Words
 the figures,
Germany
Use synonyms
 and Japan
both
Use synonyms
 had working
age
Use synonyms
 population over 65% in 1960,
while
Linking Words
Germany
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 decrease slightly, their numbers of working population reach to the highest to 70% by 1990.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
 had shoeing projected deline by 2050 at around 55% and 52% respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the US and France
both
Use synonyms
 ahd working
age
Use synonyms
 adults over 60% in 1960 before showing the dispplay reach to peaked by 1980 over 65%. Over the next 30 years, each display slight fluctuation before being predicted to decline steadily to 60% and 55% respectively by the periods end

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, germany, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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