IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. What problems do it creates? How could this situation be improved?

Small businesses are shutting down
due to
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 the competition with successful shops nearby. The main problem of
this
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 phenomenon is people will avoid starting new businesses because of the high risk of failure. The most viable solution is to help small career owners by advertising their products and encouraging folks to invest their money in beginners to help them succeed. The primary problem is stores closing because customers prefer well-known shopping centres to brag about it to their friends and family members. If you buy from a famous brand or local store
that is
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 known for its quality and style when you tell others they will know the place and consider you wealthy.
As a result
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, it might frighten ambitious individuals to rethink their decisions and not start the work they dream of.
For example
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, my friend wasn't sure about starting her online clothing field because she was afraid of competition with other trade owners that have more followers than her. A solution to these problems is simply encouraging dreamers and understand their potential and guiding them to the right path to help them pursue their dreams.
Such
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 as advertising their work or trying their samples and if you are satisfied with the product you can recommend it to your loved ones . 
For instance
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, high brands like Chanel started in a very humble store and eventually expanded over time. In conclusion, small stores deserve attention from the media and we can give the products a shot and try them out.
As a result
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 not kill dreams and helps evoke dreamers to
hence
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 to start their businesses and the ability to release products without hesitation.

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task achievement
Expand on the points made about the problems and solutions. Provide more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Each paragraph should directly support your main argument.
task achievement
You have identified relevant problems and proposed practical solutions to support small businesses.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes personal examples, which help to illustrate your points and make them more relatable to readers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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