IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Write a letter to the company. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like to do and say what experience and skills you have

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
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 letter to express my interest in a certain job that I would like to do in your organisation. I am Sam and I have a bachelors in Marketing. I saw your Ad for hiring candidates for the promotion of your products worldwide. I think I am best for
this
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 position because my background relates to
this
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 field. I would like to join your Marketing management because I take a keen interest in the fluctuations of marketing trends. By joining your department, I can get better opportunities to learn about the advanced technology which you are using for the promotion of your products. I already worked in small-scale businesses where I learnt how to handle situations in crisis when markets went down and made the business profitable.
Also
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, I got appreciation from my previous employer for organizing and managing the staff in a proper way. I hope you will consider me a perfect candidate for
this
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 job. I look forward to hearing from you soon! Yours Faithfully, Sam.

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task achievement
Try to ensure a clearer introduction that outlines your intent to apply for a specific job title as well as a brief personal background at the beginning.
coherence
Consider using transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making it clearer how your experiences relate to the job you're applying for.
coherence
Make sure to develop one main idea per paragraph for better readability. For instance, separate your skills and experiences into different paragraphs.
task achievement
Your enthusiasm for the marketing field is evident, which adds a personal touch to your letter.
task achievement
You provided relevant experience that supports your application for the marketing position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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