Many large cities are facing house crisis because they cannot provide enough place for new buildings. Some local governments believe that the problem can be solved by repurposing the park land for residential development because this land is better used for houses.

#cities #house #crisis #place #buildings #governments #park #land #development #houses

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A controversial discussion point in today's society is whether the reconstruction of parks into residential

spaces

solves insufficient living areas for

residents

. Personally, I strongly disagree with

this

statement as it generates several disadvantages in society and even citizens in some aspects.

This

essay will discuss the affections of

this

suggestion. It is undeniable that there are not enough

spaces

for living nowadays

due to

overpopulation issues occurring nowadays, so repurposing public

spaces

like parks seems to be an effective way to have more areas for housing purposes.

However

, high-rise building projects or even moving to rural areas tend to benefit both citizens and communities rather than reducing parks, which affects positively society not only the residential objective but

also

the well-being of

residents

For example

, a condominium provides its

residents

sufficient security system and a countryside generates a peaceful life of living in which people can enjoy the natural and uncontaminated environment

On the other hand

, changing public gardens into residential places affects negatively individual mental health

as a result

of the reduction of free

spaces

for extra activities on the weekend, which is almost of activities focusing on entertaining and relaxing purposes,

such

picnic

Fix the agreement mistake

picnics

show examples

or bicycling. It can be defined that the living standard in the city declines to an inferior level because of inadequate factors to thrive citizens' lives.

Consequently

, people experience more stress and unproductive emotion than in the past;

thus

, maintaining more public green

spaces

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

improves people's well-being. In conclusion,

this

controversial problem has two sides,

however

, those disadvantages outweigh the advantages of

this

approach because of the reduction in terms of health and living perspectives.

Therefore

, the government should revise its idea into certain beneficial ways to meet the needs of

residents

and the prosperity of habitancies in the country.

Submitted by saiparnwc on Sat Jun 01 2024

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task achievement

You have articulated a clear position on the issue from the beginning and maintained it throughout the essay. To improve further, you could provide more specific examples and data to substantiate your arguments, which would strengthen your task response.

coherence cohesion

While your arguments are well organized, there are a few areas where the coherence can be improved. Specifically, ensure that transitions between ideas are more fluid and that each paragraph naturally leads into the next. For instance, using connectors like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the contrary' could help.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are both strong and relevant to the topic. To perfect them, you might want to briefly touch on counterarguments before concluding, if only to dismiss them, thereby showing a more thorough consideration of the topic.

introduction conclusion

Your essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your discussion well.

coherence cohesion

You have successfully provided main points that are generally supported by explanations, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.

task achievement

Your task response is complete, and you have maintained a clear position through the essay, which is excellent.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Many large cities are facing house crisis because they cannot provide enough place for new buildings. Some local governments believe that the problem can be solved by repurposing the park land for residential development because this land is better used for houses.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development? You should write at least 250 words.