Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others, believe that creative artists should be funded alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a controversy about whether creative
artists
Use synonyms
should receive funding from governments or they should be financially supported by other sources. Some individuals believe that the
government
Use synonyms
should financially
support
Use synonyms
skilled
artists
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
belief stems from the notion that art should not be commodified. When
artists
Use synonyms
can focus solely on their craft without financial constraints, they have the freedom to produce innovative and unconventional works, even if these pieces may not
initially
Linking Words
garner widespread attention.
For instance
Linking Words
, notable paintings by Kamal-ol-Molk, an Iranian artist, were not embraced by the public during his time.
However
Linking Words
, he could continue his artistic endeavours thanks to financial backing from the royal court.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some people arguing that artistic activities and products should be funded by other means.
Firstly
Linking Words
, proponents of
this
Linking Words
viewpoint argue that if
artists
Use synonyms
depend on
government
Use synonyms
funding, they may compromise their artistic integrity by aligning solely with governmental interests.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they contend that unlike in the past, there are numerous avenues through which the global community can financially
support
Use synonyms
artists
Use synonyms
, transcending national boundaries and traditional constraints.
For instance
Linking Words
, today, an Indian fan of Nanci, an Arabic singer, can provide
support
Use synonyms
through platforms like YouTube, a possibility that was previously unimaginable. In conclusion, despite the emergence of new methods for supporting
artists
Use synonyms
and the potential for
artists
Use synonyms
to depend on
government
Use synonyms
funding, I believe the
government
Use synonyms
should
support
Use synonyms
artists
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is why it is imperative to safeguard the integrity of art by ensuring that it remains distinct from mere commercial pursuits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear argument and addresses the task well. However, try providing a stronger link between your points and the conclusion to reinforce your stance.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed with additional examples or explanations to enhance clarity and depth.
task achievement
You effectively identify both sides of the argument and present your own opinion clearly in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion and is structured logically.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: