Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that parents play
significant
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a significant
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role
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to teach
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in teaching
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their
children
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on
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apply
show examples
how to function as dependable
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member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
of
society
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,
while
Linking Words
other entrusts educational
institution
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institutions
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
as
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the best place to play
this
Linking Words
role
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.
Although
Linking Words
the latter opinion is beneficial in some cases, I believe that
household
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households
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also
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have
significant
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a significant
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impact on
children
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’s mindset and environment which is
important
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an important
show examples
element to develop them into prestige
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member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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.
School
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can be considered
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
show examples
places
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place
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for
children
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to hone their morals,
knowledge
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and knowledge
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, and an opportunity to socialize with each
others
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other
show examples
. With the different upbringing from each household under the constant surveillance and guidance from
teacher
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teachers
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, most
children
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tends
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tend
show examples
to develop good insight
of
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into
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good citizens
characteristic
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characteristics
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and determined to be one.
For example
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, if I were to compare the
school
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as
Change preposition
to
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some place
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someplace
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,
this
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can be considered as some
mock up
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mock-up
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modules of real
society
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with a
chances
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chance
show examples
to test right and wrong, with
supervisor
Correct article usage
a supervisor
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to correct the
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children
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children's
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wrongdoings.
However
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,
school
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is not the best option to
characterized
Wrong verb form
characterise
show examples
children
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as good
role
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models of
society
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. In Thailand, the class size of
average
Correct article usage
an average
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30
Change preposition
of 30
show examples
students per classroom
do
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does
show examples
not provide proper attention from one teacher to take
action
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and supervise each
students
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student
show examples
, and
thus
Linking Words
sending
children
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to
school
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cannot be the best method to educate them into good
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member
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members
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of
society
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, I believe that parents play
more
Add an article
a more
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significant
role
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in educating
children
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into good
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member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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. With
warm
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the warm
a warm
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and
cozy
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cosy
show examples
environment of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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family members,
children
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tends
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tend
show examples
to become more
openminded
Correct your spelling
open-minded
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and have
close
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a close
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bonding with family members.
Thus
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, parents can have
close
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a close
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lookup in the upbringing of their
children
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. With trends nowadays, each family tends to have one or two
children
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at most, which provides more attention and bond to each
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children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, just from
simple
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the simple
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action
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of telling a bedtime story
such
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as Robin
hood
Capitalize word
Hood
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or
Peppapig
Correct your spelling
Peppa pig
.
Children
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can learn simple
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action
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actions
show examples
of sympathy, bravery,
kindness
Correct word choice
and kindness
show examples
from
fictional
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a fictional
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character
Fix the agreement mistake
characters
show examples
, and are likely to grow up as
a good citizens
Correct the article-noun agreement
good citizens
a good citizen
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
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sending
children
Use synonyms
to the educational institute can adjust their skills to be a part of
society
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, I have faith that the main core of their course of
action
Use synonyms
would still rejuvenate from good upbringings of their household,
thus
Linking Words
will have more impact on how they would behave as a great
member
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in the
society
Use synonyms
later in their lives.

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task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your thesis statement to clearly indicate which view you support and summarize your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Create clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical flow and coherence of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of transition phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
Good use of examples, such as the comparison to a bedtime story, which effectively illustrates your point about parental influence.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear personal opinion that guides the essay, which shows engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is an essential requirement of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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