IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fast-paced modern lifestyles have led to people eating more and more fast food at the expense of more traditional meals. Do the advantages of eating more fast food outweigh the disadvantages?

The changeable contemporary environment leads to more consumption of junk
food
Use synonyms
 than local cuisine.
Although
Linking Words
 it has several benefits
such
Linking Words
 as convenience and less
time
Use synonyms
,its drawbacks have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 impact on
health
Use synonyms
 and the extinction of traditional
meals
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will provide details about the disadvantages
clearly
Correct pronoun usage
that clearly
show examples
 outweigh the advantages. In
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the first argument,eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 brings convenience and
saving
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 among the population. In recent years,citizens exposed to heavy work schedules and more attention to budget control.
Hence
Linking Words
,they want to consume fast-prepared
meals
Use synonyms
:
street
Correct word choice
and street
show examples
 foods
such
Linking Words
 as
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
show examples
 and pizza. Because these types of foods are cheaper than prepared home
meals
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 behaviour
also
Linking Words
 supports spending less
time
Use synonyms
.
Mostly
Correct your spelling
Most
show examples
 members of the societies emphasize that junk
food
Use synonyms
 really encourages a comfortable atmosphere in difficult work conditions.
According to
Linking Words
 Elon Musk who is a boss of Tesla,fast
food
Use synonyms
 ensures 40% more productivity
time
Use synonyms
 among its employees
due to
Linking Words
 delivery services and fewer costs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,fast
food
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 influences the welfare of the population as
health
Use synonyms
 issues and an extinction of traditional
meals
Use synonyms
.A lot of people today suffer from mental concerns
such
Linking Words
 as consuming high calories and sugary
food
Use synonyms
 ;
hence
Linking Words
 it leads to obesity and heart disease. Because
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reasons for living come from people’s
health
Use synonyms
 problems and determine longevity among inhabitants.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,more consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
 indeed damages traditional cuisine in the countries. All citizens prefer to use junk
food
Use synonyms
,and
as a result
Linking Words
, local
meals
Use synonyms
 lose their popularity in people.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the Turkiye, all inhabitants preferred to consume more Suchi which is a traditional meal of Chinese. In summary, a street
food
Use synonyms
 habit appeared in the Turkiye’s cities. In conclusion,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
 modern life brings a fast
food
Use synonyms
 culture but
this
Linking Words
 causes
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
less consumption of traditional
meals
Use synonyms
 in the world. It has several cons like convenience and
time
Use synonyms
 saving
while
Linking Words
 it causes more necessary concerns
such
Linking Words
 as
health
Use synonyms
 problems and
unpopularity
Correct article usage
the unpopularity
show examples
 of traditional cuisines.Disadvantages should outweigh advantages
due to
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 is the most important factor for human life.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, but ensure that your arguments are fully developed and detailed.
coherence
To improve coherence, try to use clearer linking phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your argument more easily.
coherence
Make sure to proofread your work for grammatical errors and punctuation, as these can distract from the overall quality of your essay.
task achievement
You provide a clear argument in favor of your main point, which is commendable. Your mention of productivity also adds depth to the discussion.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like referencing Elon Musk and traditional meals in Turkiye, helps to illustrate your points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-efficient
  • quick service
  • economical
  • cost-effective
  • diversity of cuisine
  • flavorful
  • nutritional deficit
  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • cultural erosion
  • packaging waste
  • ecological footprint
  • family dynamics
  • healthier alternatives
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • traditional meals
  • take-out culture
  • trans fat content
  • caloric intake
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