Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years,
children
Use synonyms
's addiction
on
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to
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smartphones
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has
became
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become
show examples
a growing
isssue
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issue
. I believe
this
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phenomenon is mainly caused by
satisfication
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satisfaction
brought by
smartphones
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and it is a negative development. One primary reason
of
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for
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this
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issue is that
smartphones
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are designed to be stimulating and allow
children
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to gain instant
gartification
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gratification
. To be specific,
children
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's brains are not fully developed and
vulnerable
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are vulnerable
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to external influence;
therefore
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, they are not capable
to control
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of controlling
show examples
their reliance on digital devices which can bring them joy and excitement. Once they develop the habit of
unlimitated
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unlimited
using time, it will be hard for them to escape from the
vitual
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virtual
world with their low self-control ability.
For example
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, short videos on the Internet enable
children
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to gain access to various information
that is
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unattainable in
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
senarios
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scenarios
, leading the a sense of short
satification
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satisfaction
after scrolling. There are several setbacks for
children
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who use their
smartphoes
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smartphones
for
whole
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the whole
a whole
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day. First and foremost, it can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to countless physical
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
. Notably, when
children
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are addicted
with
Change the preposition
to
show examples
their
smartphones
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, it demonstrates that they
loss
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lose
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their chance to participate in outdoor activities that
contribue
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contribute
to healthier lifestyles;
therefore
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the likelihood of them developing physical disorders,
such
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as
obesidy
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obesity
, nearsightedness, and diabetes, has significantly increased.
Moreover
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, their
smartphoes
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smartphones
are
also
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detrimental to their
meantal
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mental
health.
Because of
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In
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addition, once their phones are deprived
from
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of
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them, they will suffer from anxiety, depression, and insomnia. In conclusion, the main reason why
children
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spend their whole day on their
smartphones
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is that they are
vulneranle
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vulnerable
and easy to be
attrated
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attracted
by the thrilling content inside.
However
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, I firmly believe that it not only damages their physical
haealth
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health
but
also
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causes several mental disorders, forming unhealthy lifestyles.

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language
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'became' should be 'become', 'satisfication' should be 'satisfaction', and 'smartphoes' should be 'smartphones'. Proofreading your work can improve clarity.
structure
Make sure to clearly express your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Adding a clear thesis statement can enhance the strength of your argument.
content
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This could involve citing studies or statistics regarding children's smartphone use and its effects.
content
You provided a clear understanding of the reasons behind children's smartphone usage, and your stance on its negative effects is well-articulated.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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