IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that it is nowadays it is
importand
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important
 for nations to take
risks
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 in their working and personal lives. There are many advantages and disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
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 that. I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
This
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 essay will analyze
this
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 topic from both points of view. On the one hand, taking
risks
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 in life could have more profits, there is a balance between the risk level and its value.
In addition
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 to that, it might open new opportunities in
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
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 life.
Moreover
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, working in
Add an article
the high
a high
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high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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 country may affect a person’s salary, which might be a good choice to take the risk.
On the other hand
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, taking
risks
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 many disadvantages including the
lossing
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loss
 of money or chances and opportunities.
For example
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, when
person
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a person
the person
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 changes
his
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the
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 company that he or she works in, he or she might not find a good salary in another country, which may have a huge effect
in
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on
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 his life. Even if it is a business in marketing, the company might
loss
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lose
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 it is profits
while
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 taking a big risk which might affect its development and
improvment
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improvement
. In conclusion, it is essential that many communities take
risks
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 in their personal
of
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or
show examples
 professional lives, those
risks
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 might have positive or negative aspects.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve clarity by restructuring sentences for smoother flow and ensuring consistency in language use.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples that illustrate your points and enrich your arguments.
general
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors, as they can detract from the overall impression of your essay.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, which is essential for the task.
coherence and cohesion
You made an effort to address both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic from different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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