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Band 4.5

This days,children have easy access to home computers,tablets, and smartphones and mane spend a large part of free time using these devices. Discuss the disadvantages and advantages of this situation and give your opinion.

Thanks to the technological advances that are present in modern times, a large number of kids have access to tech machines that weren´t used in previous eras. In
this
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 essay, the disadvantages of unsupervised
use
Use synonyms
 of tech will be analysed.
Then
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, the advantages of the access to information will be highlighted.
Finally
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, a suitable conclusion will be provided. Even
thought
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though
show examples
, there is a large number of benefits
on
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to
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 using mobile phones and computers, younglings and
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
 are always going to be a discussion topic. And
that is
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 because the problem
start
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starts
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 with the unsupervised
use
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 of the devices. A kid without limitations could be exposed to
exponentialy
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exponentially
exponential
 hurtful information by using their phones or computers.
Due to
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 the freedom of speech presented in many online communities, crimes, drugs and highly sexual content can be found, so it is important not to
restric
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restrict
the
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apply
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access to young people to the internet but
guide
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to guide
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 them in a good way.
For instance
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, many applications have the "parental control" feature, which is a form to control what is going on
the
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on the
show examples
 platform and, with it, parents can prevent
the
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apply
show examples
exposure to traumatic content.
On the other hand
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, the internet
allegadly
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allegedly
have
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has
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 all the knowledge of the world, it is the new "Alexandria´s Library". So, for kids who are curious and want to learn about new topics, all the information that they need is online, in consequence, they can learn by themselves without the limitations of not having
the
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apply
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books at home.
In addition
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, to be tech-educated is a must to be part of today´s society,
hence
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, it is necessary for them to be able to understand the basics of their devices to move around the world. To give an example, the
use
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 of computers
on
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in
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 any work is essential
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
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, even if someone
work
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works
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 as a farmer, the
use
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 of machines can be an enormous help when it comes to
automic
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automatic
 tasks, and, even if the farm is worked just by hand, the need to transfer money, buy the supplies and look up for the weather can be done with the help of the technology. In conclusion, I believe that there a many advantages for
the
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apply
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children to
use
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 technology, but in the early stages of
develpment
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development
, they need to be supervised by their parents or tutors to have a good experience with
the
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apply
show examples
acces
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access
 to technology and the internet.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarise it in the conclusion. This can help clarify your stance throughout the essay and strengthen the overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you have logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. This will enhance coherence and make it easier for readers to follow your points.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced exploration of both advantages and disadvantages within each point. This can strengthen your argument and showcase a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a strong foundation.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, indicating a good understanding of the topic's implications for children and technology.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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