IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and thier personal lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with that statement

nowadays some
people
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 take
risks
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 in their lives
such
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 as professional lives and personal lives,in my opinion, I would firmly agree with
this
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 statement and
this
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 essay will express my personal reason relative to
this
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 argument. The first primary reason that
people
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 face challenges in their daily
life
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for example
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 work issues In recent years many administrators need a lot of work and challenges to approach a position and get a high salary
moreover
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people
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 take
risks
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for
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this
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 reason to get a high level up and growth in their professional activity ,
Accordingly
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 to United Arab Emirates
people
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 target
this
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 country and take a huge risk to approach high level of careers and
worthly
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worthy
show examples
life
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 .
On the other hand
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, taking
risks
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 sometimes leads
life
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 to
edge
Correct article usage
the edge
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 ,
for example
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, not all the
risks
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 necessary
approach
Add the particle
to approach
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 the goals sometimes there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 no chances or opportunities to take big steps and
risks
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 ,
For instance
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,
people
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 who come from a poor country like India
according to
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delhi
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Delhi
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 newspaper 90%
losed
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lost
show examples
 their
life
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 and work because they don't found chances and
apportunity
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opportunity
 because they choose to take
risks
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 even on their family to get good
life
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 but unfortunately they
losed
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lost
show examples
 their
life
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 .
To conclude
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 taking
risks
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 have merits and demerits
however
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people
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 should be aware of the consequences after making
this
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 decision

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is a bit unclear; try to clearly state your opinion and the main points you will discuss. Consider breaking your points into separate clear ideas.
coherence and cohesion
In your paragraphs, make sure to clearly define the risks you're discussing and relate them more closely to your argument. For example, contrasting professional risks with personal risks might help.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos, such as 'their' instead of 'thier', to improve readability and professionalism.
task achievement
In your examples, consider providing a more detailed analysis of how risks can lead to success or failure, rather than presenting statistics alone. This will strengthen your argument and show clear thought.
task achievement
Your stance on taking risks is clear, and you present an interesting perspective on the potential outcomes of risk-taking.
task achievement
You attempt to provide examples from different countries, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • risk-taking
  • opportunities
  • career advancement
  • personal growth
  • self-discovery
  • hobbies
  • evaluating risks
  • potential benefits
  • drawbacks
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • comfort zone
  • confidence
  • decision-making skills
What to do next:
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