IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and thier personal lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with that statement

nowadays
som
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
individual
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 take
risks
Use synonyms
 in their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
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professional lives and personal
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,in my
opinion
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opinion,
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 I would firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 and
this
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 essay will express my personal reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
relative to
this
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argue
Replace the word
argument
show examples
. The first primary reason that
people
Use synonyms
faced
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 challenges in their daily
life
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
 work issues
on
Change preposition
In
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 recent years many
administration
Replace the word
administrators
show examples
 need a lot of work and challenges to approach
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 position and get
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 salary
moreover
Linking Words
pepple
Correct your spelling
people
 take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risks
Use synonyms
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason to get
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 high level up and growth in their professional
life
Use synonyms
 ,
Accordingly
Linking Words
 to United Arab Emirates
people
Use synonyms
 target
this
Linking Words
 country and take a huge risk to approach high level of careers and worthly
life
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 .
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 sometimes
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
Use synonyms
life's
Change noun form
life
show examples
 to
edge
Add an article
the edge
show examples
 ,
for
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 not all the
risks
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 necessary
Add the particle
to aproach
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aproach
Correct your spelling
approach
 the goals
somtimes
Correct your spelling
sometimes
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no chances or
apportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to take big steps and
risks
Use synonyms
 ,
For
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 who
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
 country like India
according to
Linking Words
 delhi newspaper 90% losed their
life
Use synonyms
 and work because they don't found chances and apportunity because they choose to take
risks
Use synonyms
 even on their family to get good
life
Use synonyms
 but unfortunately they losed their
life
Use synonyms
 .
To conclude
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with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
taking
risks
Use synonyms
 have
merites
Correct your spelling
merits
 and demerits
however
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the consequences after
taking
Correct your spelling
making
show examples
this
Linking Words
decide
Replace the word
decision
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to introduce the main ideas in each paragraph.
task achievement
Expand on your examples with more detail and explanation to strengthen your arguments.
lexical resource
Be careful with spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors, as these can affect clarity.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion on the topic of taking risks, which is important for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • risk-taking
  • opportunities
  • career advancement
  • personal growth
  • self-discovery
  • hobbies
  • evaluating risks
  • potential benefits
  • drawbacks
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • comfort zone
  • confidence
  • decision-making skills
What to do next:
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