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Writing Samples
Band 5

With rise of e-books comes the decline in paper book. Some people sees this as a good step forward while other do not . What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

In modern times
Use synonyms
e -
Add a hyphen
e-books
show examples
books
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 have replaced
paper
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Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 to a great extent. There are mixed views on
this
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 topic from people, as some take
this
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 as a step towards advancement
while
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 others
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
. I strongly believe in the use of
e
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-
books
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.
This
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 essay highlights the reasons for supporting my stand for
e
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-
books
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 with valid reasons,
explanation
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explanations
show examples
 and examples.
Firstly
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, online
books
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donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 require any physical storage facility. Unlike
paper
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books
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 which
occupies
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occupy
show examples
 a lot of place. They can be easily accessed anywhere. Just the reader
requires
Wrong verb form
is required
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 to name the
book
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 in
search
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the search
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 column and the required
book
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 is available. In
this
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 respect, they are more beneficial than hard copies as
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 they get misplaced and there is a lot of difficulty in searching
them
Change preposition
for them
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.
Secondly
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. soft copies
reduces
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reduce
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 the burden of school bags.
For instance
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, I still remember during my school days, my school bag used to be
so
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too
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 heavy for me to carry, as we had to take different subject
books
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 daily.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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 because of
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e
Add a hyphen
e-books
show examples
Use synonyms
books
Add a comma
books,
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 there is
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
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 in
cutting
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the cutting
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 of trees as less
paper
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 is required to manufacture
books
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.
On the other hand
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, online
books
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 have their own disadvantages.
For example
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:
A
Correct article usage
apply
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research conducted by Vellore University states that online reading has led to
70
Correct article usage
a 70
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% increase in
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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 related to
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
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such
Linking Words
 as eye dryness, irritation in
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
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,
blur
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blurred
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 vision etc. It
also
Linking Words
 leads to
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
show examples
 and nausea among some people
due to
Linking Words
 prolonged screen exposure.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it has affected the economy as many of the
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book shops
Correct your spelling
bookshops
show examples
 and libraries have closed down because of
Use synonyms
e
Add a hyphen
e-books
show examples
books
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. Many people working in these institutions are rendered
job less
Correct your spelling
jobless
show examples
. In conclusion, both
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 with
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 pros and cons, but I believe it is more advantageous to use
Use synonyms
e
Add a hyphen
e-books
show examples
books
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 than
paper
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books
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 because it is worth it.

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify your position more explicitly in the introduction by stating what advantages you think outweigh the disadvantages for a stronger thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance readability. For example, use more linking words and phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with grammar and punctuation; for instance, ensure that you use 'do not' instead of 'donot' and pay attention to sentence fragments like 'Secondly.'
task achievement
You presented valid points in favor of e-books and discussed their disadvantages as well, providing a balanced view.
task achievement
Your use of personal experience adds credibility to your arguments and makes it relatable for readers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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