Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The bar chart below illustrates the proportion of salary spent by one
famaily
Correct your spelling
family
weekly comparing the years 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, as can be seen
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food accounted for the highest percentage in
thr
Correct your spelling
the
first year of the statistics. At the same time, fuel and power
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had the lowest among all items.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is little difference between the percentages of several sections.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the 1968 period shows categories
wity
Correct your spelling
with
closely similar numbers.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
,
household
Correct word choice
and household
show examples
and personal goods had slight variations between them.
In contrast
Linking Words
, other sections had
also
Linking Words
the same point.

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task achievement
Ensure that you provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data depicted in the bar chart. This should summarize the main findings rather than just stating details.
task achievement
Highlight specific percentage values from the chart to support your points more effectively. Avoid general phrases and aim to use clear references to the data.
coherence and cohesion
Structure your paragraphs clearly, ensuring that each one focuses on a single point. This will enhance the flow of your writing and make it easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'family' instead of 'famaily' and 'footwear' instead of 'footware'. An accurate use of language will improve your overall score.
positive
Your attempt to contrast the variations in spending categories is appreciated and shows an understanding of the data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • vulnerability
  • unethical
  • well-being
  • commercial gain
  • cafeteria options
  • nutritional programs
  • fast food advertisements
  • health impacts
  • influence
  • educational environment
  • promote healthier eating habits
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