IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some students work while studying. This often results in lack of time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

It is undeniable that money is an important factor for students,
therefore
Linking Words
,
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
 teenagers work during education. Resulting
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 not
enough
Add a missing verb
having enough
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study and
always get
Verb problem
constant
show examples
 pressure
while
Linking Words
 studying. In my opinion, I believe
this
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 is not only a cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem but
also
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
another reasons
Replace the adjective
another reason
other reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 education issues. From my point of view,
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
a part-time jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
part-time jobs
a part-time job
show examples
while
Linking Words
 schooling is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 choice for
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to earn more money and benefit in money saving. 
However
Linking Words
, It is said
by
Change preposition
that
show examples
 some people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 work
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
 studying
is
Verb problem
make it
show examples
 hard to pay attention
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the classroom because sometimes they have
finish
Fix the infinitive
to finish
show examples
 work late
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in not enough
recovering
Replace the word
recovery
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt clearly and provide a comprehensive response.
general
Work on your grammar and sentence structure to enhance readability and clarity.
content
You have identified a relevant issue faced by students working while studying.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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