Some peopel believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, umproving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger childern. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The proposition that volunteer
work
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should be an integral component of high school curricula has sparked considerable debate.
This
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essay wholeheartedly endorses
this
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assertion, as engaging in community service provides students with essential soft skills
while
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simultaneously affording them invaluable
work
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experience. The educational journey should transcend conventional academic subjects; it is imperative that students cultivate vital life skills
such
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as teamwork, empathy, and self-discipline. Volunteering serves as an exemplary avenue for nurturing these competencies. By assisting marginalized individuals, students gain profound insights, including the ability to collaborate effectively with people from diverse backgrounds and to appreciate the significance of diligence. An illustrative example can be seen in young individuals from affluent nations who choose to undertake gap years dedicated to volunteering.
This
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experience not only fosters gratitude for their own privileges but
also
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instills
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instils
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a robust
work
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ethic.
Furthermore
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, an increasing number of higher education institutions and employers place considerable value on candidates' extracurricular engagements. In a competitive landscape where most school graduates possess similar academic qualifications, participation in charitable initiatives can distinguish a candidate in the college application process.
For instance
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, prestigious universities
such
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as Cambridge and Oxford receive thousands of applications each year from individuals with outstanding academic records, yet they are only able to accept a small fraction of these applicants. In many cases, the distinctive experiences outside of the classroom, including volunteer
work
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, become pivotal factors that sway admission decisions. In conclusion, it is advantageous for adolescents to be mandated to participate in unpaid community service as part of their educational experience.
This
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engagement not only equips them with practical life lessons that extend beyond traditional classroom instruction but
also
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enhances their prospects for admission to higher education institutions.

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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Consider explicitly stating your stance with a concise sentence that outlines the main reasons for your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas, but it could be strengthened by restating the thesis in a more powerful manner. A strong concluding sentence can leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the skills development and the practical benefits of community service.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph connects smoothly to the next, maintaining a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses real-world examples, such as mentioning gap years and universities like Cambridge and Oxford, to support the main points.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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