IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

There is no denying
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
that is
Linking Words
, society nowadays
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more likely to
use
Use synonyms
 cars
instead
Linking Words
 of
bicycles
Use synonyms
 maybe that the reason humans
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 as transportation, to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 by making their own routes for that kind of transport , i will discuss both of view point in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays
use
Use synonyms
 cars very often whether for transport or to go for a picnic,
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 find out that
bicycles
Use synonyms
 are a more exhausting kind of transportation than cars ,which is why they have become
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
 common these days ,
for instance
Linking Words
, you could save more time if you go by car to a mall outside the city rather than
bicycles
Use synonyms
 which can take more time than a car ,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 it could
also
Linking Words
 be more comfortable the bicycle by just set and play some music and turn on a.c .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , if we want to motivate
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 as a kind of transportation we could let
people
Use synonyms
 know of the benefits that bikes can bring to
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the human body ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , by giving information about it as a cardio exercise that could be more for the human heart and could prevent a heart attack by 70%,
also
Linking Words
 we can make some routes for the
bicycles
Use synonyms
 as in too many countries there aren't which could but danger on
people
Use synonyms
 life . In the end ,
i held
Verb problem
I
show examples
 believe that the car is more comfortable and more smoothly than a bicycle and to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 it is by giving them some treat about it

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task achievement
Your introduction sets the stage, but it could be clearer. The phrase 'There is no denying fact that is' is awkward and confusing. You might say, 'There is no denying that society nowadays is more likely to use cars instead of bicycles.' This would strengthen your introduction significantly.
coherence and cohesion
While you provide some points to support your argument, some ideas are unclear and could be better organized. For instance, your point about bicycles being exhausting is somewhat buried in the paragraph. Try to start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, you mention that cars are more comfortable, but it's not clear how this relates to encouraging bicycle use. You could restate the benefits of cycling or suggest more ways to promote it to clarify your final thoughts and give your conclusion more impact.
positive
You provide relevant examples about car and bicycle usage which helps illustrate your points. The mention of health benefits associated with cycling is a strong addition that emphasizes the advantages of biking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
What to do next:
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