Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, many school-aged individuals overindulge in smartphone use.
This
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trend is often
due to
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easy access to entertainment and peer pressure but
also
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educational benefits. In my opinion,
while
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there are positive effects, overuse can lead to negative consequences if not properly managed.
To begin
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with, smartphones can support a child’s cognitive development when used wisely. They provide access to a wide range of applications, websites and games that enhance memory, logic and general knowledge. Not only can these tools be useful, but for families on a tight budget, one device can replace several traditional methods. Admittedly, I still find physical books and tactile learning materials more enjoyable, yet an electronic alternative may serve as a practical solution for some.
Moreover
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, smartphones help
children
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stay in touch with their parents. In my experience, even basic phones in primary school provide a sense of security and immediacy for parents and
children
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alike. In
this
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decade, young people maintain contact even more easily through messaging platforms and video calls, which were not previously available. Notwithstanding the clear advantages, there is a flip side to excessive smartphone use.
Instead
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of playing outside and meeting friends or engaging in hobbies,
children
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may spend long hours staring at a screen.
This
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behaviour impairs concentration and can, over time, lead to poor sleep quality, diminished focus and a sedentary lifestyle. On no account should these effects be overlooked. What is more, social pressure
also
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plays a role. If nearly every classmate owns a smartphone, it becomes increasingly difficult to stay offline.
Children
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often feel the need to be constantly connected simply to stay informed or connected with peers. In conclusion, smartphones can be both helpful and harmful.
Therefore
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, the key lies in achieving a healthy balance through clear boundaries and responsible use.

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Task Achievement
Consider elaborating more on the potential negative effects of excessive smartphone use. Providing more depth would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more transitional phrases to strengthen the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize your points.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which demonstrate a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital devices
  • smartphone addiction
  • online interactions
  • developmental impact
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • academic performance
  • parental supervision
  • proliferation of apps
  • engaging content
  • excessive use
  • sedentary lifestyle
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