IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Newspapers play a significant role in shaping public opinions and beliefs. Do you consider this to be a positive or negative development? Explain your viewpoint with reasons and include appropriate examples based on your knowledge or experiences.

It is argued that
newspapers
Use synonyms
 play a significant role in shaping public opinions and beliefs. In
this
Linking Words
 essay
i
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I
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 want to explore both
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 and negative
arguements
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arguments
 and why I think it is mostly a negative development. For many
people
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people,
show examples
newspapers
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 are the main source
for
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of
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 new information and events happening in
this
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 world. They can share big breakthroughs in
sience
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science
silence
 but
also
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 horrific events like the war in Ukraine. Thanks to their high reliability and
adjustement
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adjustment
 to the internet they are popular not just amongst old
peolpe
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people
, but
also
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gain
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gained
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reputation
Correct article usage
a reputation
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under
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among
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 young people.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, most
newspapers
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 are very trusted with their information and often are
beeing
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being
 used as
source
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sources
show examples
 for other articles.
However
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, there is a big risk coming with
such
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 trust and high reputation, as fake
news
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 can spread very easily and there are few ways to question newspaper articles. Nowadays propaganda gets spread very fast and most people believe them as they have no other choice. The main factor fake
news
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are
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is
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 distributed is that unbelievable
news
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 that
have
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has
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 never been heard before
get
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gets
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 sold much quicker than "normal"
news
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. With the
big
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wide
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 variety of
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newspapers
Add a comma
newspapers,
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 everyone has to stand out from the others, and the easiest solution to
this
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 problem is to disperse fake information in their newsletter. In summary, whilst
newspaper
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newspapers
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 can be a good way to stay up to date, it becomes significantly harder to question articles and distinguish between what is right and what is wrong. I firmly believe that
newspapers
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 should be held accountable for spreading misinformation and they should only inform, rather
Linking Words
then
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than
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 have an opinion on certain topics.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear viewpoint regarding the negative aspects of newspapers shaping public opinion, which is good. However, providing a more balanced argument that explores both sides in more depth could enhance your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Each paragraph should transition smoothly to the next to enhance coherence, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, citing a particular instance of fake news that had significant consequences would strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion expressed in your essay about the negative impact of newspapers. This clarity is essential for a good score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a solid structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps readers understand your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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