IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned in the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There are so many vehicle-free days
while
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 private transports are banned in the centre of the city, public transportation is recommended by the government.
This
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 situation presents tangible benefits,
such
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 as eco-friendliness and
fuel
Use synonyms
 savings, which overshadow less noteworthy drawbacks, like insufficient capacity. The first compelling advantage of public transportation is eco-friendly. It must be recognized that the number of private vehicles will decline dramatically in the future, and
this
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leads
Wrong verb form
will lead
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 to a significant reduction in exhaust fumes.
Likewise
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,
this
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 replacement influences public awareness and they are encouraged to protect the environment. In countries like the US, where metros are one of the best mass transit because of the convenience they provide.
Fuel
Use synonyms
 savings is another positive element of
this
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 issue.
This
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 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the cost of refuelling for public transit is much lower than for private vehicles.
Furthermore
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, the fuels from factories are going to be used in a small amount and
this
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 leads to all the vehicles being refuelled constantly for a long time without worrying about
fuel
Use synonyms
 shortage.
However
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, there are unfavourable aspects, namely system overload. To be more specific, at rush hour, most residents use the transit system to move and
this
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 leads to one vehicle containing more than the prescribed number of people.
Moreover
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, the number of available transport options is limited so people can wait their turn for a long time. In countries like China, where the high population is a problem that the government has not been able to solve yet.
As a result
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, public conveyance
also
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 has many limitations to serve citizens's travel needs. In conclusion, it can be seen that limited capacity is outweighed by environmentally friendly and minimizing
fuel
Use synonyms
 use.
Therefore
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, there is ample evidence
to conclude
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 that
this
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 essay has been mostly positive.

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This helps the reader to know your perspective from the start.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistical evidence to support your claims about eco-friendliness and fuel savings. This would strengthen your argument and enhance the overall persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the connections between your ideas by using linking words and phrases, especially in the body paragraphs. This can help create a smoother flow for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with some grammar and phrasing, such as 'the number of private vehicles will decline dramatically in the future', which sounds uncertain. Rephrase it to reflect the current trend more assertively.
structure
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is great for coherence.
content
The arguments related to eco-friendliness and fuel savings are relevant and strong points in the context of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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