At the present time, the population pof some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults ,compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages of the situation outweighs the disadvantages ?

There is no denying that in some countries, the

population

Use synonyms

of young adults significantly exceeds that of older people.

This

Linking Words

demographic can bring various

advantages

Use synonyms

along with

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technological advancement and innovations.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

situation and explain why the

advantages

Use synonyms

are generally more significant.

To begin

Linking Words

with, young adults often offer fresh ideas, energy, and innovations which can contribute to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social change and the economy. As per the economic growth, young people are in their prime era of employment, as they will highly contribute to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity, leading to the surge

profitability

Change preposition

in profitability

show examples

of the companies that impacted

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the higher growth

domestic

Change preposition

of domestic

show examples

product (GDP) in their country. A survey by the Ministry of Manpower in Indonesia found that the employment rate is dominated by 25 to 40 years old, dominating 80% of the

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

market locally.

In addition

Linking Words

, the youths have the tendency to think more

creative

Change the word

creatively

show examples

, they maximize the technology developments to support their ideas,

such

Linking Words

as curated fashion small businesses,

start up

Correct your spelling

start-ups

show examples

that

supporting

Replace the word

support

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

agriculture and marine, and many more.

For instance

Linking Words

, Gibran, a young man built e-Fishery when he was

Change preposition

apply

show examples

his

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

25, and

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

years later named

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the first agricultural unicorn

start up

Add a hyphen

start-up

show examples

in 2020.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, based on the supply and demand theory, a larger number of young adults in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society leads to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher competition. The youth should have a competitive skill so that they can compete in the job market competency.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the surplus of employee supply leads to the rise of

unemployment

Add an article

the unemployment

show examples

rate, if the government can't provide a larger job opportunity

along with

Linking Words

the

population

Use synonyms

growth. It obviously can

also

Linking Words

impacted

Change the verb form

impact

be impacted

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

population

Use synonyms

distribution, certain areas would be more densely populated, impacting the infrastructure, healthcare, and transportation. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the large

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

young adult

population

Use synonyms

leads to many challenges

such

Linking Words

as unemployment and inequality

Use synonyms

population

Change preposition

in population

show examples

distribution, the

advantages

Use synonyms

far

outweighs

Change the verb form

outweigh

show examples

the

Use synonyms

advantages

Replace the word

disadvantages

show examples

tsamratzzahThu May 15 2025

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task achievement

Revisit your thesis statement to make it clearer and ensure it directly addresses the question.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your conclusion accurately reflects the main points without introducing new ideas.

task achievement

Your essay provides relevant examples that support your points, showcasing real-world applications of your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

You have structured your essay in a clear manner, with distinct paragraphs for each point discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic dividend
workforce
productivity
cultural richness
economic output
invest in education
infrastructure
public services
social tensions
unemployment
overpopulation
young adult population

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At the present time, the population pof some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults ,compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages of the situation outweighs the disadvantages ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of web? What solutions can you suggest?

In many countries it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their classwork individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.