IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

people these days prefer to be
self-emloyed
Correct your spelling
self-employed
 rather than working for others because of many reasons. one being sitting in
comfort
Add an article
the comfort
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 of their home and enjoying
perks
Correct article usage
the perks
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 of being their own boss rather than following instructions of their employers.
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 it comes with some
short-comings
Correct your spelling
shortcomings
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, which will be discussed in
following
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the following
show examples
 passage.

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task achievement
Expand on your introduction to clearly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay. It can be helpful to briefly mention both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment right from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help the reader follow your ideas more easily. For example, words like 'firstly', 'on the one hand', and 'in conclusion' can enhance coherence.
task achievement
In the body of your essay, provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, describe how being self-employed can lead to flexibility in work hours or how it may result in financial instability to illustrate your ideas.
task achievement
You have introduced the topic clearly and indicated that there will be a discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment, which shows awareness of the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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